Have You Ever Been Shagged by a Celebrity?

That’s the question we here at Sleaze Diary want answered - have you been shagged by a celebrity? We’ve all seen those dubious kiss and tell stories in the tabloids, but can you really believe them? After all, these so called ordinary punters spilling the beans have been handsomely remunerated for their stories. So, just to ensure that any stories we print here at Sleaze Diary are authentic, we’re offering no cash whatsoever for any stories submitted in connection with this competition. There will, however, be a fabulous (non-monetary) prize awarded for the best! Whilst I cannot claim to have been shagged by a celebrity (to the best of my knowledge), I did once know someone who was shagged by someone else who was famous for five minutes. When I was a student one of the girls in my history tutorial group spent the night with Andrew Ridgeley (the one out of Wham! who didn’t give Ronaldo a rub down in his local public toilets). She sold the story to a newspaper for a few quid (a handy supplement to her student grant - those were the days when we actually had grants, not loans).

However, we don’t want to hear about any shabby liaisons with has-been micro-celebs. Oh no. We want the full details of your sordid assignations with real, major league, household name celebrities. We want to know if you’ve ever been in the passionate embrace of Brad Pitt or Sandra Bullock. Maybe you’ve spent the night polishing Captain Picard’s dome in a plush hotel room or taken it up the council gritter from Michael Barrymore in some seedy backstreet public toilet in Lambeth. Has George Clooney ever propositioned you in the men’s toilets at Waterloo station? Has Harvey Keitel ever offered to show you the head on his handy shandy and then invited you back to his place for an S&M session? Have you been chained to Sharon Stone’s radiator whilst she whipped your naked bottom with a cat o’nine tails? Maybe you’ve yodelled in Britney Spears’ canyon or yaffled the yoghurt cannon of top gay icon Leonardo Di Caprio. What about group sex? Have you ever had a gang bang with the Backstreet Boys? Perhaps you’ve been rogered by all four Baldwin brothers in alphabetical order (Alec, Daniel, Stephen and William). Why stop at the human celebrities? Ever had a tryst with Lassie? How about that grizzly from “Gentle Ben”? Champion the Wonder Horse - just what made him so wonderful?

So, if you’ve had any of those experiences, or anything similar - we want to know. However, be warned, fantasies are not acceptable - we want some kind of proof that it actually happened. Maybe you took photos or video taped it all (purely for blackmail purposes of course). Maybe you kept a memento (Christine Aguilera’s knickers or a cast of James Garner’s penis, perhaps). We want to see them! The best celebrity shag stories received will probably not be published here (for fear of libel action), but will receive an e-mail of one of our fine collection of monkey pictures - it doesn’t get any better than that!