Sin and the Single Atheist

Maybe it is because it is Easter that I seem to be running (or planning) so many religious-themed stories at the moment. Not only has the Pope been Pleasured in recent weeks, but Satan has been battled in the gay bars of Brighton by the God-fearing 'Bishop', John Salford. The next story I'm working on (once I've got this issue's editorial out of the way), is a sort of a C of E companion piece to the holy masturbation story. Tentatively entitled Heaven in a Crack Pipe, it chronicles the Anglican church's latest attempts to present a contemporary image. It's been a while since I mounted such a concerted assault on organised religion - it used to be a regular feature of The Sleaze. For quite a while I thought I'd run out of angles, but clearly, resting the subject has allowed my imagination to recharge its batteries! Indeed, I have yet another God botherer-themed story planned for later in this issue (Evils of Religion).

Having mentioned Easter, I suppose that it is fair to ask what it means to a non-believer like me (apart from a couple of bank holidays)? Well, like Christmas, we heathens have the get-out that it isn't really a Christian festival, it is yet another pagan festival (this time of re-birth and fertility) co-opted by the Holy Joes. Consequently, I feel free to reinterpret it myself, in purely secular terms. For me, this time of year is all about metaphorical re-birth, when we cast off all the ills and frustrations of the preceding twelve months, try to forgive the sins committed against us, and move on. Just as importantly, it's a time to come to terms with the mistakes you've commited yourself. Something I learned a long time ago is that many of the things we perceive as being 'sins' committed against ourselves are, in reality, often of our own making. Accepting at least partial responsibility for the misfortunes which befall us is a very cathartic experience. There's no better time of year to do this than now! And there endeth the sermon! Bloody hell! If only I wasn't an atheist, I'd have made one hell of a vicar!