Friday, March 23, 2007

It's a Sin!

Jeffrey Archer, Neil and Christine Hamilton and the Yorkshire Ripper - what do they all have in common? They're all utterly reprehensible individuals who have somehow been 'rehabilitated' through television. Except the Yorkshire Ripper. He's still a reprehensible individual, obviously. But he hasn't yet been rehabilitated through TV. It's just a matter of time, though. Mark my words, pretty soon he'll have the good sense to ditch his solicitor and employ a good agent instead. Before long he'll be out on licence and appearing in reality TV shows, where he'll admit his 'mistakes' and be transformed into a 'character', who can then make a career out of being a panellist on quiz shows. I don't know about you, but I'm getting pretty sick of these sinners being transformed into 'celebrities' in this way, as if appearing on TV can somehow wash away your sins. The sight of Jeffrey 'Jailbird' Archer on ITV trying to show us what a warm-hearted philanthropist he is really makes me want to puke. The man's a liar, for God's sake! He perjured himself in court! The Hamiltons are even worse - he's a corrupt bastard who, not satisfied with his MP's salary, effectively prostituted his position as an elected representative by taking money from a dubious businessman!

Frankly, I don't know why they don't just formalise the whole process of rehabilitating the fallen famous by having a dedicated TV entertainment show - It's a Sin!. The likes of Archer and Michael Barrymore could go on there and accept bizarre challenges from the public - if they complete them, they're absolved of their sins and allowed back onto prime time TV and people's hearts! There'd be no shortage of takers! Trust me, Barrymore would gladly eat dog shit, or nail his todger to a Welsh dresser in order to get back on British TV! They could even extend the concept, and have personalities who think they're darkest secret is about to be revealed in the press come on the show and see if a celebrity panel can guess their sin! To help the panel, they could give cryptic clues, or even mime their misdemeanour. Another variant would be to have some heinous sin described, or recreated by actors, and get the viewers to try and guess which celebrity actually committed it! Yes folks, I think I could be on to another winner with this one - ITV's Summer schedules beckon!

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