Monday, March 12, 2007

Crazy Like a Squirrel?

Have I ever mentioned how deranged my friend is? I'm sure I must have alluded to her insanity. She's the one who described my coffee table destroying fall from a step-ladder whilst adjusting my indoor digital TV aerial as 'a less dangerous version of what happened to Rod Hull'. The same one, in fact, who once tried to give up cigarettes, cheese and coffee at the same time. Although she denies it, I strongly suspect she tried wearing a slice of that processed cheese on her arm like a nicotine patch, to help her over the cheese addiction. She also denies getting so desperate during her 'cold turkey' that, desperate for a 'hit', she smoked a cigarette rolled from another cheese slice and filled with ground coffee. Her past lunacies are too numerous to mention and she has a habit of saying whatever's in her head: she once announced to me that drinking large amounts of cider turned her urine orange, for instance.

Anyway, getting to the point of this post, her lunacy seemed to reach new heights last week, during an IM conversation. Without warning, my friend started going on about squirrels, stating 'Now I'm really scared - squirrels!', before vanishing from the conversation for several minutes. As her absence lengthened, so my anxiety grew, and I began looking up her number on my mobile, worried that perhaps some kind of rabid killer squirrels had broken into her house and were, even now, attacking her. Believe me, the mental picture of one of your closest friends being overwhelmed by a horde of bushy-tailed nut-crazed fiends is bizarre, to say the least. The alternative, and equally worrying scenario, was that she was under the influence of powerful hallucinogenics (or cider), and imagined that she was under attack from squirrels. Another mental picture flashed into my mind: my friend stumbling wildly about her living room attempting to beat off rogue squirrels with a frying pan, and wrecking the place in the process. Finally, she reappeared asking whether I'd received the pictures she'd sent me. Apparently she'd been attempting to send me some kind of squirrel images. However as I use Trillian as an IM client, I couldn't receive them (or even know that they'd been sent).

So there you have it: barking mad, but lovable with it. I don't know why I put up with it! But then again, I probably wouldn't like her half as much if she wasn't so weird. Life would be terribly dull without these lunatic interruptions!



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