Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Some Musings on Morons...

I never realised the fun I would have when I posted that last editorial over on The Sleaze last month. If you haven't read it (and if not, why not?), I ranted at length about some of the truly idiotic search terms people put into Google and which eventually bring them to The Sleaze. In particular, I highlighted search phrases such as 'My missus naked', or 'My wife fucked' and wondered exactly what kind of morons made such searches and whether they actually expected to get any relevant results. Well, much to my joy, the very fact that those phrases appear in the editorial have resulted in a significant number of these dullards finding their way to it, where they're confronted with my forthright opinions on them! Ha! What joy! The trouble is, of course, that they're probably too stupid to grasp that I'm taking the piss out of them. However, now that those phrases are also in this post , means that, sooner or later, the cretins will turn up here! So, if you didn't get the message before boys - I think you are a bunch of drooling morons who shouldn't be let near a keyboard, let alone a search engine.

Whilst we're on the subject of morons, I've noticed with interest that some of the leading whacked out weirdoes over at the '60IF' message board (they're the 'leading' authority on the 'Paul McCartney is dead and replaced by a double' conspiracy), have recently started postulating that Paul is actually alive! Now, I know that all of you who have been following his divorce case, or have bought any of his albums over the past thirty seven years (you poor deluded souls!) will be saying 'No shit, Sherlock'. However, the new '60IF' position is (naturally) a bit more complex than that. Apparently, Paul was replaced by a double back in 1966, but at his own behest because he couldn't stand the pressures of fame, or something, and has since lived under an assumed identity (possibly Donald Rumsfeld). This amazing turnaround in their core beliefs is all based upon some highly scientific analysis of hairlines in forty year old photographs.

Now, the eagle-eyed amongst you will have spotted by now that this new theory is, in essence, pretty similar to the plot of I Buried Paul which was published in The Sleaze last Summer. Of course, nobody on the 60IF board is admitting having read that piece of sensational reportage, but somehow I doubt their change in theories is coincidental. Clearly, The Sleaze is far more persuasive and influential than I ever suspected! Anyway, if you can stand the unbridled lunacy and lack of respect for even the most basic tenents of the English language, go and check it out for yourselves over at 60IF . You just can't make this stuff up...

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