Take the Money!

And I'll tell you another thing on TV which is really getting my goat - this spate of programme's where millionaires condescend to shower their largesse on the working classes. There's one where they even go 'undercover' to some deprived area to meet the locals (how awful for them) and decide which one is the most deserving case for their charity. Jesus Christ! Can television get much more patronising toward the working classes? The only thing which could make this worse would be if said millionaire was to hold court, perhaps with a couple of his wealthy mates, and get those whacky plebs to plead, or maybe even perform, for some of his cash. Obviously, ITV decided that was exactly what their schedules needed and we now have the sight of Jeffrey Archer (the lying bastard), agonising over whether to give a few thousand of his hard won(!) cash to that bloke with the wooden leg or the kid who can amusingly juggle syringes. Fuck me! I really don't what is worse: the programme's basic -highly offensive - concept, or the fact that it provides convicted perjurer and ex-con Jeffrey Archer with yet more undeserved publicity.

Look, I know it must be hell having all that money, spending all day and night agonising over how best to use it, and how it must really sap your self-esteem, but surely there are better ways for millionaires to use their money for good works? Sure, anonymous donations to charitable causes won't give you quite the same ego-boost, but I'm sure it would be more effective. In fact, if you really feel the need to redistribute your wealth that badly, why not just give it all away? You could still get a bit of publicity out of it if, say, you were to put all your dosh into a big sack and run out into the street naked, throwing handfuls of money into the air. Come to think of it, wouldn't make better TV than Jeffrey 'Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire' Archer encouraging care in the community psychiatric patients to wire their bollocks up to the National Grid, by offering them huge wads of cash?