Fate as a Washing Machine (Part Two)

When I started this blog, I vowed that it wasn't going to degenerate into some chronicle of my boring life. However, when your washing machine makes an attempt on your life, I feel that one has something worth mentioning. A while ago I mentioned my washing machine's propensity for flooding the kitchen and tripping the mains cut off when its spin cycle got out of control. Well, after a few weeks of behaving itself, the bastard returned to form yesterday, flooding the kitchen not once, but twice. This time around it seems that seals have gone on the door. Anyway, as I was in my kitchen, standing in an ever deepening pool of water whilst attempting to switch the programme to 'drain', I received an electric shock from the accursed device! Clearly, it had carefully thought out its strategy, knowing that I'm rarely wearing shoes in the house on a Friday evening, and that I'd lean on the stainless steel sink unit whilst changing the programme, thereby completing a circuit. Thankfully, the bastard couldn't muster sufficient current to do me in, just make me jump. Actually, looking back, the fact that it tripped the mains switch probably saved me from worse.

I wouldn't mind, but technically speaking this was the second attempt on my life the washing machine had made in two days. On Thursday, whilst laying some new vinyl flooring in the aforementioned kitchen (what an exciting life I lead), I found myself engaged in a battle with the washing machine when I attempted to move it to get the old flooring up. The damn thing nearly fell on me. As it was, I nearly ruptured myself shifting it about. I suppose that with two attempts to kill under its belt, the washing machine could be eligible for 'double-O' status. Perhaps we'll see it the next Bond movie. You certainly won't be seeing it in my kitchen for much longer. I ordered a new one today - it arrives next Saturday, leaving the old washing machine another week to try and take my life. I'll be on my guard (and wearing rubber-soled shoes in the kitchen).