Oh Little Town of Crapchester...

The only part of my Christmas programme to survive the ravages of last weekend's cold, here's our traditional look at Crapchester's seasonal lights.  It was touch and go whether I would be able to salvage sufficient material from the footage I shot last week to put to together more than a few seconds but, somehow, I managed it.

I've also decided to count this as December's 'Monthly Movie', thereby bringing that project to a rather muted close.  The fact is that, apart from the fact that nobody bothers watching these films - they visit the posts, but apparently can't be arsed to watch the film - the way I feel now, I just don't think I'll have the time or energy to put together the December entry I'd planned before the end of the month.  Quite apart from the fact that I'm still tired from fighting that cold (the cough is still fighting a valiant rear guard action to try and ruin my Christmas), the supposed fix of my telephone service by BT has failed again (at least the third time they've 'fixed' it, only for the fault to reoccur within less than two weeks - just after they've marked the fault as 'resolved' thereby improving their figures, coincidentally), leaving me with the prospect of having to waste large chunks of my Christmas break chasing BT again. 

Speaking of said break - I finally finished at work today, but not before one last act of pettiness directed my way by what passes for a 'manager' in the office, designed, doubtless, to sour the time off I've had the nerve to take.  It never ceases to amaze me the way in which some people just can't see how badly it reflects on them, when they try to assert their non-existent 'authority' through such acts of petty vindictiveness.  But fuck 'em.  I don't have to put up with the bastards again until next year!

A Walk by The Sea

The penultimate entry in the 'Monthly Movie' project, November's movie utilises some beach footage I shot back in September to experiment with some new video editing software I've acquired.  As you can see, the main feature I've played with is split screen, allowing me to simultaneously present several alternate takes of the same scene.  I wasn't sure exactly how well this would come over in a smaller viewing window, but I think it looks OK.

Although it doesn't look it, the original footage was shot on one the sunniest days of my holiday, although, thanks to the strong wind, people were wrapped up as if it were winter.  As a point of interest, the actual walk part of the film is at the same location as the very first film - 'A Walk on the Beach' - that I ever posted here, several years ago.  So, there you have it, another 'Monthly Movie'.  Incredibly, we only have one more to go before the project is completed.  I know that nobody actually watches these (go fuck yourselves, see if I care) but I've found it an interesting experiment.  So there.

Zombie Hunt

October's 'Monthly Movie' entry inevitably has a Halloween theme. I have to say that this is one ripe for remaking - I was pressed for time making the film and by the time I had an opportunity to film anything, I was fast losing the light. Consequently, the quality of the finished footage leaves a lot to be desired. With some adjustments, you can just about what's going on in the later scenes, but I'm still not happy with it. Still, it's all I've got, footage wise. With another project for a possible October monthly movie bogged down in technical difficulties, the only other viable alternative would have been to cobble something together from the unused footage I shot in August and September.

Anyway, not only was the shoot hurried, I was also poorly prepared and unable to use any of my preferred locations due to time constraints. I really should have had a better costume for the 'zombie' and set up more complex shots. I was going to try a reshoot today and thought I'd be able to finish work early enough to catch at least an hour of daylight on a more favourable location. However, thanks to Crapchester's poorly designed road network, I spent most of the afternoon stuck in traffic jams and missed the opportunity. Hopefully, at some point in the future, I'll return to this project and remake it - I've got a great coat which would make a better 'zombie' outfit, or maybe I could use a bedsheet, as in M R James' 'Whistle and I'll Come to You', thereby substituting a ghost for the 'zombie'. I'll also be shooting 'day for night' and adjusting the footage in post-production to add a 'night filter'.

I know I'm not really selling this film well, making it sound like a hastily assembled clunker. But, to be fair, I do think it has its merits and is worth a look.

Creeping Through the Forest

It's that time again - Monthly Movie time.  Once again, this is also, effectively, a holiday film, but as the footage was shot in September, I thought I'd count it as part of the 'Monthly Movie' project.  This was shot at the Highland Water enclosure near Emery Down.  The path actually does a complete circle and it is possible to access the other side of the ford seen in the August Monthly Movie by taking one of the many paths which branch off of it.  However, I didn't get to that path.  In fact, I didn't complete the circuit of the main path.  I became so spooked as I walked around the enclosure that I abandoned the walk half way (hence the abrupt ending to the film) and hot footed it back to my car. 

As you can see, it was broad daylight, and the only other living things I encountered were two ponies, but there was something about the atmosphere of those woods which really disturbed me as I walked through them.  It didn't help that only a couple of days before I shot this, there had been a murder in another part of the New Forest, (the scene of which, coincidentally, I had unknowingly driven past several hours after the incident), and, as I rounded the bend in the path after the ponies, I noticed, deep in the trees, a tent of some kind.  Clearly, someone was living rough in the enclosure.  Bearing in mind that at this point no arrests had been made in the murder case, I became somewhat uneasy.  My sense of uneasiness grew as, after I passed the tent, I became convinced that I could hear someone or something moving parallel to me in the tees, although I couldn't see anything.  When I couldn't hear the distant crackling of fallen twigs and branches breaking as something moved over them, there was just an eerie silence.  At which point my nerve broke and I hurried back to the car (as I was the only one parked in the car park, I had assumed I was alone there), and drove a few miles down the road, to an enclosure with more people in evidence.

Not surprisingly, the film reflects my sense of unease, with some dark and foreboding music (courtesy of Kevin MacCleod), heightening the sense of tension as I creep, hesitantly, through the forest.   

A Rainy Day in The Forest

Both August's 'Monthly Movie' and the first of this year's holiday videos, 'A Rainy Day in The Forest' pretty much reflects the way this month has panned out: disappointing weather-wise, but still with plenty of points of interest.  This one was shot on Tuesday, in between downpours of torrential rain. Eventually it eased off enough for me to take a walk along some forest paths I hadn't explored in quite a few years.  The stream is usually fordable at the point it crosses the path, but the heavy rain had swollen it somewhat.

Interestingly, significant amounts of damage caused by last winter's storms, in the form of fallen trees and land slippage on the banks, can be seen along the stream.  So, there you have it - eight films into the 'Monthly Movie' project.  We're on the home stretch now with only four more to go!

From Sea to Golden Sea

Our monthly movie for July.  A montage of Summery scenes: cornfields, hay bales, duck ponds, the sun shining through leafy trees.  OK, there's no actual sea, but, for me, if there is one thing which epitomises Summer it is the sight of fields full of a golden sea of cereal crops. Watching that golden ocean move in the wind is one of my favourite seasonal sights.  Indeed, everything about these crops fascinate me - you can measure the progress of the Summer (or, indeed, how good or bad a season it has been) by their development and eventual harvest.  Of course, back in the day, it used to climax with the stubble being burned off - a sight I loved.  Sadly, nowadays this is a very rare occurrence with other, safer, methods for getting rid of the stubble preferred. 

The music, as on quite a few of my recent films, is by Kevin MacLeod.  There are several reasons for this: not only does he compose great music and allow it to be used freely by the likes of me, but he's also fought off the various 'digital rights management' parasites I've written about before, who waste everyone's times by trying to claim copyright on the music every time you upload a video to YouTube.  Consequently, by using his music, the chances of having another run-in with these vultures is significantly reduced.  The actual track used - 'Smoking Guns' - gives the film the vaguely 'western' feel I was looking for - that's the other image those cornfields evoke in me: the old west.

Finally, what's the significance of the blurred figure slowly walking toward the camera? No idea, but I'd recently re-watched Once Upon a Time in the West, where there's a flashback featuring Henry Fonda in a similar sequence.  I suppose it could represent the inevitable end of Summer drawing closer.  But who knows?

Sacred and Profane

Our 'monthly movie' for June takes us back to a favourite type of location: a church yard.  This time I use it to try and explore how easily our perception of a location can be changed by a few simple factors.  A low camera angle, monochrome photography and creepy music turn it, at a stroke, into a Gothic horror movie, but colour, angles which look 'heavenward' and organ music transform it into a celebration of religious faith.

I'd originally planned to use at least two different locations for shooting.  However, time constraints due to work and decorating activities eventually forced me to use a single location instead.  Which, sort of, makes more sense.  The same constraints meant that I had to edit the whole thing in more of a hurry than I would have liked in order to get it finished for June.  Consequently, it's a bit rougher than I would have liked - in retrospect, for instance, some scenes needed a bit more trimming than they actually received.  Such reservations aside, I'm pretty pleased with this monthly movie.  Bring on July's!

The Tallest Tree

Just when you thought that I'd forgotten - May's 'monthly movie'.  I can't deny that this one was done in a hurry - it was the last week of May and I realised that I hadn't actually filmed anything, the weather outside was foul and I was up to my neck in DIY jobs at home.  So, I went out to one of my favourite locations and hoped for inspiration.  (I had been planning something more ambitious for this month, but I just didn't have the time to even start it).  Luckily, I remembered that I had never filmed the children's play area.  I call it a children's play area, but I've never actually ever seen any children playing there.  In fact, I can't recall ever seeing any children visiting those woods with their parents.  Clearly, there must be some, or they wouldn't have built and maintained the area...

The wooden tree/castle is very nicely built and of some interest, but the bulk of the film is taken up with me 'walking the height of the world's tallest tree', a display which, apart from the tree/castle, is the play area's only attraction.  Not especially interesting, I know, but it is educational: by the end of this video you should have some idea of just how tall the world's tallest tree was.  Hopefully, we'll have better weather next month and I'll be able to get out to some more interesting locations for Jume's movie.

Spring Days

'Monthly Movie' number four.  Amazingly, we're four months into this project and I'm still on schedule!  As it's April, I thought we'd have a vague springtime theme to this month's film.  So, we mark the season of renewal with a slideshow (to suitable music) of some spring scenes: well, sheep, bluebells, rape seed flowering, greenery returning - that's all spring-like, isn't it?  Most of it was shot this month - the sheep and hill fort scenes have already been glimpsed in another post - the exception being the bluebells.  I had intended to shoot some woodland bluebell scenes today and had planned my route back from work accordingly. However, a thunderstorm, (which was rumbling while I shot the rapeseed and other fields), erupted into a torrential downpour, so I had to abandon these plans.  Luckily, I recalled having photographed some spring bluebells at another location a few years ago and was able to locate and retrieve the pictures from the hard drive of an old laptop.

So there you have it - another 'Monthly Movie'.  Who knows what next month's will be?  I certainly don't!

Dirty Magnum

Another month, another movie.  For March we've got something a little bit different: an attempt to recreate the opening titles of  Magnum Force in my front room.  Happily, this one turned out better than I expected.  The indoor shooting resulted in low light levels and grainy footage - I had to keep the blinds down as I couldn't risk passers-by seeing a man holding what looked like a revolver and calling the police - but despite the low resolution, it still looks OK.   The music might not be by Lalo Schifrin (as in the original), but Kevin McLeod's royalty free theme (available from incompetech.com) conveys the right tone of seventies cop show urgency. The credits are, of course, entirely fictional (apart from the music credit, obviously), with the style of the director's credit intended to echo the way Don Siegel signed his late films.

The stuff after the titles is simply some unused footage I shot driving around the streets of Crapchester, it is there for the sole purpose of giving the main part something to be the titles to.
The gunshot sound effect is actually a .50 Barrett rifle, rather than a .44 Magnum - it sounded more impressive - whilst the cocking sound is a slowed down and amplified sample of a Ruger .357 Magnum being cocked. The Model 29 Smith and Wesson .44 Magnum in the film is, I hasten to add, a plastic model.

Waterlogged

Well, here we are with the second of our 'Monthly Movies'. Sadly, it isn't especially good. I thought that I'd shot lots of great footage of the aftermath of all the recent rain, including scenes of flooded streets here in Crapchester, overflowing ditches in the countryside and the like. Sadly, when I reviewed it today, most of it was, for various reasons, completely unusable. I've cobbled together as much of the salvageable stuff as I could into a minute and a half of movie

What remains are scenes of a road blocked by floods, with part of its surface washed away, (incredibly, despite the 'Road Closed' signs, people were still trying to drive through the damaged/flooded section), some woodland which has been transformed into a fair facsimile of the Louisiana Bayou and, finally, some drainage ditches so badly flooded they have effectively turned into streams. Sorry about the disappointingly poor quality of this entry. There just wasn't time to remount any shooting. Hopefully, next month's movie will be better!

Shock of the New

OK, today we inaugurate a new feature on this blog: the monthly movie.  Basically, I'm going to try and make and present a short film every month during 2014.  I'm not going to go so far as to try and ensure each film has a theme appropriate to its month.  The films could just be experimental video projects I've been working on that I can't incorporate into other films, for instance.  The long and the short of it is that, for some time, I've felt that I'm simply not doing enough with my camera - hence this project.

Anyway, for January, I have decided to follow an appropriate theme of sorts.  As January ushers in a new year, I thought I'd take a look at some of the new building which has been going on around Crapchester.  Combining footage filmed on two local housing developments, 'Shock of the New' tries to capture the sense of isolation and, frankly, loneliness which seems to encapsulate these new developments.  Full of identikit houses, which are built to standard designs which try to suggest historical styles such as Georgian town houses, or Victorian cottages, arranged on streets which seem perpetually devoid of a human presence, they fail completely to create actual communities.  lacking shops, pubs or any other facilities, they remain simply collections of houses.  Sterile and soulless, it could be argued that they are a perfect symbol of modern British society.