"We Won't Bury Him Without His Brain!"

Micheal Jackson really is the gift that keeps on giving, isn't he? Even after his death he has continued to amuse us with bizarre headlines and strange behaviour. Take that 'memorial service' for him - what the fuck was that all about? Is it just me, or is it just little bit weird to have a gold-plated coffin as guest of honour at a concert? To be quite honest, I was expecting that, at any minute, the lid would fly open and Wacko Jacko would leap out in full 'Thriller' mode. It's the sort of publicity stunt I wouldn't put past the bastard. The whole thing was so over blow that I was slightly disappointed that it didn't culminate in the coffin being interred in a pyramid, accompanied by various artifacts Jacko might need in the afterlife: a gold plated Cadillac, stuffed chimp, face mask or child pornography, perhaps? Maybe his High Priests could have ceremonially sacrificed several children and interred their bodies with the King of Pop, to act as slaves in the hereafter - it's what he would have wanted.

Best of all in all posthumous Jacko bullshit are the latest revelations that 'They Saved Jacko's Brain'. Now, we all know that all this stuff about removing it for tests is utter bollocks. Like you, I've seen enough B-movies to know that, even as we speak, some cackling crazy scientist is keeping said brain alive in a glass tank full of bubbling nutrients, whilst planning to transplant it - with the aid of his hunchbacked assistant - into a new body. Trust me, in few months time, a new singing sensation will be unveiled to the press, and when the curtain rises, we'll be treated to the sight of some stitched-together hulk, or even a chimp, which, just as everyone is getting ready to jeer and ridicule it, bursts into song in Jacko's voice, and starts to moonwalk. Mind you, it could all be even more sinister. Jacko could have staged his own death in order to have his brain transplanted into a new body, so as to start a new life. Maybe he's going to have it put into the body of a nine-year old child, so that he can get close to his victims, unsuspected...