We Want Winterval!

Well, it's that time of year again when you can't find anything in the supermarket because their shelves are suddenly full of Christmas-related goods (most of which they never seem to sell judging the quantities which they always seem to be trying to shift at discounted prices come New Year), and the municipal Christmas decorations are stealthily snaking their way down the town centre, lamp post by lamp post. So, what better time could there possibly be for me to start my annual campaign for the abolition of Christmas. Now, don't get me wrong and start labeling me some kind of miserable old killjoy. I'm quite happy to have the midwinter celebrations, I just object to all the bloody cultural and commercial baggage which has accrued to Christmas. Especially the 'Goodwill to All Men' and all the other sanctimonious bollocks which Christianity has pinned on it. Let's be honest - it is simply another pagan festival hijacked by the God-botherers. I think we should be taking it back - then we can all enjoy the debauchery, drunkenness and over-indulgence with clear consciences!

To be frank, I think they got right in the West Midlands a few years back where they simply labeled the whole festive season 'Winterval'. I know at the time it was seized upon by the fascist press as yet another example of 'political correctness gone mad', and portrayed as an attempt to avoid offending non-Christians by taking the Christ out of Christmas, but it deserves another look. The idea behind Winterval was simply to incorporate all of the religious festivals which take place around that time of year within one overall season. If you think about it, this has distinct advantages. Most obviously, it extends the festive season quite considerably, allowing us not only to celebrate more, but also to pace our excesses better over the season. With several other festivals, such as Hanukkah and the orthodox Christian Christmas (which is later than ours), incorporated, it provides more high points to work toward, instead of the measly two (Christmas Day and New Year's Day), we get now. The bits in between those to can often seem really dull and depressing - with Winterval, it would be one continuous party, staggering from Holy day to Holy day! I ask you, wouldn't the festive season be so much better if it covered most of December and early January?

So, this is where the campaign starts! We want Winterval and we want it NOW (well, starting in early December, actually)!