To The Left, To The Left...

I'm in the mood to start a new urban myth. You know the sort of thing - playing 'Let It Be' backwards reveals a message admitting that all of the Beatles except Paul McCartney were replaced in 1966; or that standing next to a microwave oven whilst it is in operation makes your testicles/breasts drop off. There have been a lot stories in recent months concerning those satellite navigation systems, and the bizarre routes they send people on; stranding them in impassable fords, or along clifftop tracks, that sort of thing. Whilst sounding highly unlikely, these stories are apparently true, so they could be used to give credibility to an urban myth. Consequently, I was thinking of claiming that drivers were mistaking the intro of Beyonce's latest highly irritating song - 'irreplaceable' - for instructions from their Sat Nav system, and having horrendous accidents as a result. You know the song, the one which begins with her saying "To the left, to the left". It seems entirely credible to me that motorists could be swinging their steering wheels violently to the left as a result of hearing that on the radio, ploughing into post boxes, lampposts, pedestrians and parked vehicles. If they were in the fast lane of the M4, it could result in a massive multi-vehicle pile up as they swing across several lanes of traffic before hitting the crash barrier instead of the expected exit.

So, it checks the boxes: vaguely credible and involves a celebrity. The only thing I need to do now is to get it into circulation. I daresay if I pose as one of those dolts on a Beyonce fan message board somewhere, I could start a thread on it - the trick would be to reply to the original post under other aliases claiming actually to have crashed as a result of the song. The bastards who hang out in such places are credulous enough to swallow it, and I know from experience that most TV 'researchers' simply seem to trawl the web for material. Before you know it there'll be a Channel Five documentary and The Sun will be calling for all Beyonce records to banned. "Stop this Evil Now!" the front page will, no doubt, bellow.
OK, I'm off to find a Beyonce fan site...