Cruel and Unusual...

Sometimes the temptation is too great, and I just can't help myself from commenting on news stories that I know I shouldn't. Now normally I wouldn't stoop so low as to try and get a cheap laugh out of someone's marital distress, but the latest 'revelations' in the McCartney divorce are just begging for comment. I mean, when Heather McCartney allegedly accuses Sir Paul of subjecting her to cruelty and abuse, you can't help but add 'by forcing her to listen to his entire oevre as a solo artist'. That alone should be grounds for divorce, surely?

Then there's this story about the teenage girl bundled into a white van in Wrexham and subjected to a 'terrifying ordeal', before being released a hundred miles from her home. Well of course she endured a 'terrifying ordeal' - she was being subjected to the driving habits of White Van Man. Frankly I'd be crapping myself if I'd been forced to spend an entire weekend trapped in a white Transit van as its demented driver cut up other motorists, pulled onto roads without indicating, flaunted the speed limit and regularly jumped red lights whilst talking on his mobile phone. I should imagine that a teenage girl would be completely freaked out. The poor kid will probably have a fit every time she sees a van from now onwards, and will most likely never be able to get behind the wheel. I hope that when they catch this bastard they throw away the key. Just to be on the safe side, why not lock up every white van driver, just to be sure we've got the right man?