Thieving Middle Class Bastards...

I was reading the other day about the self-styled 'Freegans', people who pursue an alternate lifestyle which, they claim, eschews work, consumerism and all those other nasty materialistic values which afflict Western civilisation. They achieve this by going through people's bins, recovering everything they need to live - including food - from waste. Whilst, on the surface, this type of 'recycling' might seem admirable, on closer examination it actually does little to undermine rampant consumerism. Indeed, it relies upon a continuation of our current wasteful 'throw-away' culture for its very existence. If the majority of people in the West weren't over-consuming, then their bins wouldn't be full of the stuff these 'Freegans' need to sustain their lifestyle. Now, if they were recycling our waste for use by the poor of the Third World, I'd be more impressed - that would represent an admirable attempt at redistributing the world's wealth to those who need it most. As it stands, this movement simply seems to be a way for a very small number of middle-class drop-outs to maintain their relatively privileged lifestyles without having to work, whilst remaining smug and sanctimonious about the fact that they are simply a bunch of freeloaders.

Anyway, I've decided that I'm going to take measures to stop these bastards from stealing from my bins (I pay my Council Tax to have it taken away to a dump and/or recycled, thank you very much). From now on, I'm going to be shitting in the bin bags before I put them out. I defy even the most devoted 'Freegan' to eat anything out of those bins! I shall also be urinating in all my empty plastic bottles - drink that, freeloading bastards! And, as you like the idea of recycling so much, I'll be including my used toilet paper in my refuse - if you want to reuse it, be my guest. You know, when travellers, or the like, nick stuff left out for refuse collection, we call them 'thieving gypsy bastards' and try to get them evicted from their campsites. However, when a bunch of middle class tossers do the same thing, we call it a social trend, give it a fancy name and praise them for being environmentally aware! Jesus, who said the class war was dead, eh?