Satire With Balls

You know what the trouble is with too much internet so-called 'satire'? It is just too bloody tame! In large part this is down to the desperate attempts of many 'satire' sites to gain mainstream respectability, advertising revenue and just good old traffic. To get the big hits, which will guarantee you reasonable ad revenue, you have to minimise the number of potential readers you might offend - this means you've got to 'water down' your product and tackle only the obvious 'safe' targets. The result is toothless 'satire' endlessly poking mild, but ultimately harmless, fun at Bush, Blair, Saddam et al. The quest for 'respectability' is just as corrosive to good satire. It is surprising how many online 'satire' practitioners harbour desires to write for print publications, radio, TV, etc. For them the web is a poor relation, just a stepping stone. Now, I have nothing against ambition, but in aspiring to other media, we're in danger of losing sight of the fact that the internet has a far greater potential reach than any other media, and far fewer restrictions on content. The web should be the ideal platform for real biting satire, which leaves no target untouched by its savagery.

To this end, I'm proposing the establishment of a new online satire publication which will push the boundaries of taste and decency to the limits: Satire With Balls. Basically, this site will consist of a series of witty parodies of current events, presented in pictorial form and performed by male genitalia. In the manner of 'Puppetry of the Penis', the sex organs' owners will manipulate them in various ways to represent the personalities, institutions and events in the news. For instance, if this had been going in September 2001, the fall of the Twin Towers could have been represented by two erect penises suddenly being gripped firmly at their bases and subsequently going flaccid and collapsing. To take a more recent example, Vice President Cheney's 'accidental' shooting of his hunting companion could be represented by a penis prematurely ejaculating all over another scrotum. President Bush could always be played by a limp dick, to show his impotence as a lame duck president. This is really radical stuff and would be guaranteed to get the web talking. Trust me, governments would be bound to fall once citizens start seeing their leaders represented as a bunch of old knobs.

I think this could definitely be a winner. In fact, I'm just going to check whether the URL satire-with-balls.com is still available...