Peeping Google

"It's bloody outrageous - I feel as if I've been cyber-raped!" declares Freda Glinthern, a thirty-two year old Londoner who was shocked to find herself featured in a compromising position on Google's new Street View application. "People should be able to pleasure themselves with any type of fruit or vegetable they like in the privacy of their own bedrooms, without being snapped by bloody perverts and having the pictures spread all over the internet!" Miss Glinthern's street - Felcher's Way - quickly became the most clicked-on location once word of her 'display' spread across the web, registering more than two million hits in an hour. "I can almost feel their eyes crawling over my body," she exclaims. "Just the thought of millions of grubby little nerds whacking off over that picture makes me feel physically sick!"

Whilst Google quickly removed the offending picture, following a complaint from Glinthern, critics of the new application still believe that it is little more than a peeping Tom's charter. "Every voyeur with a web connection will be going over Street View with a fine tooth comb, looking through people's bedroom windows in the hope of catching a flash of breast or buttocks," says Tory backbencher Harry Chopper. "Nobody will be able to feel safe in their own homes anymore - thanks to this application the threat of cyber-peeping will be ever-present!" Chopper also points out that it isn't just people naked in their own homes who are at risk. "This thing makes it absolutely impossible to do anything in public, like scratching your arse on the street, or taking a piss in telephone booth, without the risk of being caught on camera," he says. "They've already had to remove a picture of some poor bugger throwing up over a vicar. The trouble is that by the time you realise they've got your picture, it's too late - millions of people could already have seen you taking a dump on your ex-wife's doorstep!" Chopper has categorically denied being the man pictured leaving a Hoxton sex shop on Street View.