Saturday, May 17, 2008

Disable Bodied?

Do you know what the biggest menace on Britain's streets is today? Those bloody electric invalid carriage things which increasing numbers of supposedly disabled people are zipping around in. They apparently have to pass no tests whatsoever to be let loose in the damned things and seem to think that they have the right to drive them wherever the bloody well please - on the pavement, through shops, parks, pedestrianised areas, the bloody lot. You try telling them any different and you'll find yourself labelled a 'fascist', or worse. I've lost count of the number of times that I've nearly been knocked off my feet by some lunatic in a motorised invalid carriage. They're an even worse nuisance in shops - I once had an altercation with some old git who thought I should vacate the aisle so that he could speed past. The fact that I was in the process of lifting a heavy item down from a shelf seemed irrelevant to him. What's worse, you can't even avoid the bastards when you are out on the road in your car. Have you ever noticed how slowly they drive across pedestrian crossings? Whilst they are prepared to knock you flying when you are on foot yourself, at crossings they just can't seem to muster sufficient speed to get across before the lights change, leaving you fuming as you have to sit there at a green light whilst they dawdle their way in front of you. Of course, by the time they've reached the other side, the lights are back to red and another one has started across from the other side.

I've even encountered these pains in the arses driving their contraptions on the open road! I kid you not - mile-long queues of traffic crawling behind some bastard in an invalid carriage. I wouldn't mind, but as they trundle along in their leisurely fashion, they are usually also busy flicking cigarette ash all over the road - is it any wonder they're short of breath and can't walk? Of course, you're always in the wrong if you try to argue with these people - they're disabled, therefore they're always the victim. Now, before you all start labelling me an insensitive and callous bastard, just stop and think - haven't you ever wondered if they're really disabled at all? Come on, you know you have! Just like me, you've noticed that the only disability the people in these carriages seem to be suffering is that they're grossly overweight. The fact is that I really don't have anything against really disabled people, you know, with missing or paralysed limbs, degenerative diseases, spinal injuries and the like, using these things. What I object to are people who are incapable of walking six paces without suffering a coronary due to their self-inflicted obesity, or left breathless because of their hundred a day cigarette habit, bloody running me over in invalid carriages and leaving me a sodding cripple.



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