Night Mayor in London...

"Oh my God, you finally did it! You voted him in! Damn you! Damn you all to Hell!" I'm telling you now, this is the future for London now that you've elected that buffoon Boris Johnson Mayor. How could you do it? The man is so clearly a useless tosser, a political opportunist who couldn't care less about the city. Well, on your own heads be it. The immediate consequence will be that deposed Mayor Ken Livingstone will retreat to his secret lab deep beneath the Thames and start breeding those giant radioactive newts hew intends unleashing on London as revenge for his defeat. If that doesn't work, don't worry, Boris will wreck the place himself, it'll just take a little bit longer.

That's the only solace I take from this farrago - the fact that a couple of years of Boris Johnson destroying London might remind voters of just how awful those Tory bastards are when they're in power. Believe me, whatever terrible shit Boris visits upon London will be just a foretaste of what a Cameron government would do to the whole country. Trust me, if those asset-stripping, elitist bastards get into power, we're fucked. Truly fucked. Really, I despair of the stupidity of the country's voters, particularly the ones in London who've elected an imbecile as their Mayor...