Kung Fu Fighting for Tibet

Speaking of spiritual leaders, there's one thing about the whole Tibet situation which puzzles me. Why doesn't the Dalai Lama use his powers to rid his homeland of the yoke of Chinese occupation? After all, unless various martial arts movies and the Kung Fu TV series have lied to me, I was under the impression that all Buddhist priests were possessed of amazing powers. Ever since the recent unrest began, I 've been looking forward to seeing live footage of the Dalai Lama levitating, cross-legged, into Tibet, defying Chinese troops as he floats above them, smiling benignly as he uses his mental powers to tie their gun barrels into knots and turn their bullets into flowers. I mean, not only would that have a devastating psychological affect on the Chinese - undoubtedly frightening the shit out of them - but it would also be a highly effective demonstration of Buddhism's principles of non-violence in action. So, why hasn't he done it? I find his inaction perplexing. Maybe he's read the X-Men comics and fears some kind of anti-mutant backlash if he reveals his powers. But to hell with that, I say! Your people are in dire need of your help!

OK, I know it is just possible that those films have slightly exaggerated the powers of these holy guys - perhaps he can't actually fly or bend metal with his mind. But things like Kung Fu make clear that, at the very least, they have amazing martial arts skills. Whilst it wouldn't be as spectacular as flying into Tibet, launching a one-man invasion and single-handedly kicking the asses of the entire Red Army would surely send a clear and unequivocal message to Beijing. It's not as if he'd have to worry about the fact they have guns - I've seen these guys use their finely honed reflexes to dodge bullets, before disarming the man holding the gun. Again, as the kind of martial arts I've seen them using always seem to be non-fatal, it would still preserve Buddhism's essential principles. But again, the Dalai Lama doesn't even do this. Instead, he just calls on the international community to condemn the Chinese occupation of Tibet. Maybe I'm being unfair to him. Maybe he's holding fire until the Beijing Olympics this Summer, when he'll disrupt the opening ceremony, swooping over the opening ceremony in the lotus position, before alighting, kicking the shit out of the Chinese team and blowing out the Olympic flame. I certainly hop that's what he's planning, anyway.