Bondage Beach

As you all know, I occasionally like to review the odd DVD or book that I've recently seen or read. Well, a very odd DVD recently came my way - Bondage Beach. A bizarre piece of low budget Brit exploitation from the not so swinging seventies, I think this one deserves a wider audience. An attempt to parody the Beach Party films of the 1960s, Bondage Beach comes off surprisingly well, replicating the cheap and cheerful feel of the originals. Thankfully, however, it doesn’t feature beach movie veterans Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello. Purporting to be set in California, but actually shot on a Norfolk beach in March, the film concerns the attempts of various rival factions to win the local heat of the Romantic Restraint Monthly bondage contest. Local black-leather bondage biker gang-leader Erich Von Manacle (portrayed by Harley Limpdick in his only starring role), thinks that he is the favourite to win with his bike-chain based ties, believing that his perennial rival, surfer dude Jake Pegg (Mack Puma) is out of the running. Pegg's lost his confidence following the unfortunate demise of his girlfriend and model in the previous year’s heat. We see in flashback how Pegg had looked set to win with an amazing display of strapping which had secured his girl to his surfboard. However, he had tried to take it a stage too far when he had tried to ride the surf with her still attached to the board. Most of the film’s action follows the attempts of Von Manacle and Pegg to secure (no pun intended) the services of new girl on the beach Minnie Mink (Luanna Zaftig) as a model for the contest.

As with the original beach party movies, Bondage Beach features a multitude of cameos from minor celebrities and fading stars. Watch out for the judge in the climactic contest, she’s played by Jenna Bender who actually was the editor of Romantic Restraint Monthly at the time. You might also recognise popular porn performer Howard "Donkey Dong" Curtis as the flasher (he also had an uncredited bit in Hockey Girls' Holiday), and the old beach bum with his knob stuck in a beer can is played by the gay one from "Rod, Jane and Freddie". Keep watching right to the end and you’ll see that the peeping-tom vicar who is unmasked as a Nazi war criminal is none other than the late Arthur Askey.

Naturally, Mink eventually chooses to be Pegg's model (despite her reservations after hearing of the fate of her predecessor), Von Manacle kidnaps her in retaliation and straps her to a Harley-Davison frame in preparation for the contest. After much running around Mink is rescued by a troop of sky-diving nuns and is returned to Pegg. However, Pegg finds that Von Manacle has stolen his bondage equipment! The biker looks set to win the contest, aided by professional bondage model Loretta Blick (playing herself), and executes an amazing series of cross ties and suspensions! After dripping hot engine oil on Blick's breasts, he performs his piece de resistance - a variation on the popular " water torture" set-up using a fan-belt and petrol can. Pegg quickly improvises using mouse-traps and bulldog clips instead of nipple and pussy clamps, and astounds the judge with his inventive use of life-line and belt to strap Mink to his surfboard. Finally, Pegg performs again the feat which cost his previous girlfriend her life. This time the ping pong ball does not get jammed in the snorkel and Mink survives. Pegg is declared the winner and, after a brief struggle, Von Manacle gets his dick trapped in a mouse-trap (cue jokes about it being bated with knob cheese...).

Whilst reasonably successful, Bondage Beach never spawned a series - which was clearly the hope of producers Gamahuche. As a one-off it remains entertaining and this video release will probably provide inspiration for many home bondage enthusiasts. As a point of interest, Harley Limpdick insisted on performing the mouse-trap stunt himself. Unfortunately, his organ became gangrenous as a result and, although he recovered, it was so badly disfigured that he never performed on screen again.