Terror Without Planning Permission

So now we know - it was all about planning permission. The demolition of Osama bin Laden's compound in Pakistan by local authorities surely confirms this beyond any doubt - the al Qeada leader had put the building up without proper planning permission. For which he paid a heavy price. Apparently he had ignored numerous written warning from the local council and had threatened to set his dogs on officials who had called in person with a court summons. According to sources within Abbottabad District Council, the terror chief had only been given permission to erect a single-storey non-residential structure on the site. "The actual building clearly contravened this," an anonymous official has told the press. "It wasn't just the fact that the upper storeys blocked neighbours' views, but the wall and gate went against local ordinances stating that nothing larger than a waist high hedge should be used to demarcate property boundaries."

Following Bin Laden's threats of violence, the council felt that they had no choice but to call upon US Special Forces for assistance. "The US is totally committed to the enforcement of planning regulations globally," a spokesperson for the US Department of Defense confirmed. "If we don't crack down hard on the anti-social bastards who flout local planning laws then there'll be worldwide chaos. If we let some fundamentalist crackpot build a house in a Pakistani green zone, then next thing you know someone will be building shoddy apartment blocks on the White House lawn." For their part, Abbotabad District Council have been at pains to point out that the plan hadn't been for the US Special Forces to kill Bin Laden. "Obviously, it would be a bit harsh to have people executed just for putting up an illegal conservatory or such like," the official said. "We only asked the soldiers to serve the court summons on him. Unfortunately, Mr Bin Laden persisted to trying to avoid service, becoming very aggressive in the process. Consequently, they felt they had no choice but to shoot him in the head." With Bin Laden subsequently failing to appear at the hearing, the court found against him in absentia and ordered the demolition of his illegal dwelling.