Dave's Papist Plot Uncovered

So, the truth is out at last: Cameron is in the vanguard of a Papish plot. What other conclusion can we draw from the astounding intervention of the leader of England's Roman Catholics, Archbishop Nichols, in the row between Dave and the Church of England's leading cleric, Archbishop Rowan Williams. Whereas Williams condemned the government's policies on health and education, questioning their legitimacy, and dismissing the 'Big Society', Nichols praised the PM for the 'genuine moral agenda' driving the Coalition's reforms, and for putting marriage and family stability at the centre of policy-making. According to the Daily Mail, that is. Does the staunchly Eurosceptic Mail realise that Archbishop Nichols takes his orders from Rome? If this was some 'Eurocrat' in Brussels started giving pronouncements on UK government policy, they'd be foaming at the mouth, denouncing these foreign interventions as a threat to the UK's sovereignty. Indeed, if this was Blair being praised by the left-footers, they'd be raving about Papish plots to bring Britain back under the heel of Rome.

Well, if they won't, I will. Clearly Cameron is a closet Catholic who wants to disestablish the Church of England and convert us all to the ways of Rome. After all, isn't he one of those politicians who wants to reform the laws on succession to allow heirs to the throne to marry left-footers? Before you know it, abortions and contraception will be banned and homosexuals will be rounded up and put in 'correction centres' where they'll be 'turned' to the right path under threat of crucifixion. Worse still, child abuse will be institutionalised. Hell, a few centuries ago, the merest whiff of a Papist plot would have people rioting on the streets and Parliament sending for a Dutch Protestant Prince to take the throne to protect us from the evils of Rome. So it's worth a try. Of course, it shouldn't come as any surprise that the Catholic church approves of Cameron's crackpot ideas to replace public services with charity - they like nothing better than the existence of a poor underclass to recruit from and control. Less spending by the government on things like education, health care and social provision provides the Rock Cakes with more opportunities to step in and infiltrate our society at all levels, indoctrinating us all to their creed. If that isn't a good enough reason to burn a few Catholic priests at the stake, I don't know what is.