Christmas Eve 2010 at The Sleaze

Well, it's that time of year again, and I'm finally feeling a bit more seasonally spirited. In large part this is due to have finally shaken off the worst of the cough which has been plaguing me for the past few weeks. It's amazing how much better spending the morning in a warm bed can make you feel. It was also the annual Sleaze staff Christmas party today, which certainly helped get everyone in the mood. Thankfully, we avoided the homemade egg nog shenanigans of a couple of years ago - mainly because Little Miss Strange is still on the run from that horse she punched. She was last heard of in Lapland, violently accosting a reindeer she'd accused of eating her magic mushrooms. Still, in her absence, my cousin Suzie Sleaze succeeded in making an exhibition of herself eating the entire cheese board. I really though she was going to throw up all over my living room carpet after she'd eaten the stilton. She was last seen lying the garden clutching her stomach and moaning.

Thanks to his electronic tag, Big Sleazy had to leave before dark, much to my relief - I could do without his snowman building efforts. Those carol singers from the pensioners' flats opposite still haven't recovered from last year's abomination. I had to out and beat it to bits with a shovel - which sent the neighbours' kids into a fit of hysterics. To this day, when they see me in the street they point and shout "Murderer!" at me. Anyway, getting back to the point - Christmas Eve. For the first time in several years it looks like I'll be able to celebrate at my local pub, thanks to the change in ownership earlier this year. Which will make a nice change. I was going to fire off a load of festive e-mails to various associates this afternoon, but in the end just didn't have the energy. So, instead I'll take this opportunity to say to absent friends, regular readers and fellow online satirists - whatever it is you celebrate at this time of year, have a good one. Happy Winterval one and all!