From Russia, With Cleavage

Well, I for one think that any suggestion that Lib Dem MP Mike Hancock's Russian aide is actually a spy is quite ridiculous. Look, I've seen enough Bond movies to know that female Russian spies all have amusing names like Ivana Legova. They also generally have bigger knockers than this girl, (judging by that photo of her which all the papers have printed), and throttle people with their muscular - but shapely - thighs. Either that, or they look like Rosa Klebb and go around stabbing people with poison-tipped blades concealed in their shoes. Actually, while we're on the subject, why is it that whenever an alleged Russian spy of the female variety is revealed, the press always seem to have pictures of them in their underwear or swimwear, (unless they look like Rosa Klebb, of course)? Why wasn't this story accompanied by a picture of Mile Hancock in his speedos? Presupposing that he has a pair of speedos. Which he might well have. Apparently he's quite fond of those young female Russian aides.

Of course, if I was of a certain turn of mind, I might suspect that the Mike Hancock affair is another one of those 'Convenient Conspiracies'. Think about it - it diverted the UK media's attention from the embarrassing revelations made by Wikileaks for a while, taking some of the heat off of the government, and allowing them to issue a warrant for Julian Assange's arrest while the press was busy looking at that Russian bird's cleavage. Not only that, but it helps to further discredit a Lib Dem MP who is considered a bit of a maverick and a potential loose cannon as far as the coalition government is concerned. Not only does it call into question his judgement for employing her, but it also allows the media to 'legitimately' bring up those allegations from a few months ago that Hancock had sexually harassed a female constituent. Allegations which weren't pursued by the police, incidentally. Then again, it could just be the media desperate for a story on a slow news day...