A Dog's Life - and Death

"We never put down a healthy dog". This slogan for a charity which rescues and re-homes stray dogs set me thinking when I saw it in a newspaper the other day. I mean, if they don't put down 'healthy' dogs, does that mean that when they get really fed up with one that absolutely nobody wants to take off their hands, they make it 'unhealthy', so that they can knock it off? Seriously, do they smack it over the head with a brick, so that it staggers around foaming at the mouth and bleeding from its ears? After all, if you saw a dog in that state, you'd agree that the kindest thing you could do for it would be to have it destroyed, wouldn't you? It would quite clearly be a 'mercy killing'. Actually, hitting it with a brick might be a bit extreme - breaking one of its legs with a baseball bat, so that it limps badly, would probably be enough to justify having the furry bastard put down.

Obviously, people might get a bit suspicious at the number of dogs suddenly suffering from fractured skulls and broken legs - not really the sorts of injuries you'd normally expect canines living in a dogs' home to get. A solution would instead be to use these 'problem' animals in illegal dog fights. Let's face it, that's probably what's really going to happen to a fair proportion of the dog's supposedly 'rescued', anyway. They're going to a good 'home' all right - a wire cage where they're regularly poked with sticks to make them more aggressive. Anyway, bearing in mind that the dogs in question are probably vicious bastards, they'd probably enjoy being involved in dog fighting. If they win, they'll have made some money for the dogs' home, if they lose, they'll probably be so badly mauled that they'll have to be put down. The dogs' home will be able to deflect suspicion by saying that the animals had been injured in a fight with another dog at the home. This has the added bonus that it gives them an excuse to put down another dog on the grounds that it is dangerous. But of course, this is all just idle speculation and I'd like to emphasise that no dog rescue charity would ever deliberately injure its own charges, or get involved in illegal dog fighting. Although they might want to think about it.