Monday, June 14, 2010

Spanks a Lot!

OK, for the purposes of this post, you are just going to have to accept that I'm a sleazy perv. It's far simpler for you to do that, than for me to bother explaining the convoluted process by which I found myself viewing a Russian corporal punishment porn site the other day. It's also far more believable. Trust me, it really is - if I told you the real story, I guarantee that you simply wouldn't believe a word of it. So I'm not going to bother. Just assume that I'm filthy old pervert, instead. Anyway, getting back to the point, the other week I found myself viewing the aforementioned site, which featured a series of well dodgy looking spanking films and picture galleries. Now, I'd normally just pass on by when I come across this sort of thing, but there was just something about the sheer tackiness of this site which made me want to explore further. Besides, they were offering free samples of the movies, most of which seemed pretty poverty-stricken in terms of production values, judging by the stills on display. I just can't resist the lure of low grade smut.

One particular title caught my eye: Terrorists in Russia. I was intrigued, just how were terrorism and spanking linked? Was I to be treated to the spectacle of Chechen terrorists taking control of an exclusive girls' finishing school, and administering six of the best to a hostage's posterior on the hour, every hour, until their demands were met? Well, not quite. The whole thing seemed to be filmed in some grotty Moscow flat, and, as far as I can make out, as I don't speak Russian, involved Islamic terrorists bursting in and taking the two girls there hostage. The plot, such as it was, seemed to consist of the girls being bent over a sofa and caned, whilst the chief terrorist speaks to someone on the phone. I think the girls might be the daughters of Russian government officials or oligarchs, and the terrorists are trying to get some prisoners released. That said, is anyone watching this really going to be concerned with plot details? Now, I'm not saying that the production is cheap, but you can clearly see the elastic strap holding the chief terrorist's (obviously) fake beard on.

However, the thing which really struck me about this piece of smut was that the girls being caned had really rubbish arses. Now, I'm not going to brag about how I've seen so many women's arses that I know a great one when I see one. Because that would be untrue. But I do know what I like, and, believe me, seeing a flat-bottomed, skinny arsed girl getting caned is certainly not fun, let alone erotic. I mean, what is the point in peddling spanking videos if you can't at least get girls with good arses to appear in them? Speaking personally, I've always favoured the slightly broader, more ample female posterior. There is no doubt whatsoever, in my mind, that such a behind is far superior for spanking - it's not just the far more satisfying sound you get when slapping it, but there's also the rippling of the buttocks to be considered. The more shapely the bottom, the better the spanking. That's my opinion, anyway. But what would I know? After all, I'm not a sleazy perv who looks at this stuff on a regular basis - other than for the purposes of this post - am I?



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