Getting the Bird

Last month we asked 'Have You Ever Been Shagged by a Celebrity?' and invited readers to send us their stories of celebrity sex romps for publication. Well, we finally got a response and, after consulting our lawyers, are pleased to present the celebrity bonking experiences of one 'Kid Leather', a professional brass rubber from Tonbridge, Kent:

"I once had a three in a bed romp with Rod Hull and Emu. He insisted on wearing that bloody bird puppet during sex. In fact, his foreplay consisted entirely of him using Emu to attack my breasts and attempt to peck off my nipples. At one point during our lovemaking he stuck its beak right up my arse. Jesus, that was so painful I shrieked! He thought I was climaxing. I have to say though, that of the two Emu was the more considerate lover.

Apparently someone once caught him in his dressing room, using Emu to wank himself off before a kiddies TV show. Or perhaps that bit was just made up. But both he an Emu did have sex with me."

So, does anybody have any other tales of puppet-related passion? Anybody had their arse felt by Sooty and Sweep, perhaps? Or been taken from behind by Big Bird, maybe?