Gold Fingered (Part Two)

After sharing my love of that really bad daytime TV advert urging people to send in their 'unwanted gold' for cash, (possibly to finance some nefarious criminal conspiracy on the part of a Bond villain), imagine y joy when I stumbled across another commercial for a rival service! I encountered this one on Dave (home of endless repeats of BBC programmes) on Saturday afternoon. The best thing about it was that, unlike the Channel Five ad, this one actually employed a front man who looked like a Bond villain! You know the sort - some middle-aged bald bloke in a suit who looks like he's about to shout "Kill Bond! Now!" whilst banging his fist on a desk. Also, rather than just show us their supposed 'call centre' (somebody's converted loft in the case of the first advert, which looked suspiciously similar to the 'call centre' in another ad for a holiday flight information service), this lot treated us to lots of stock footage of gold being smelted.

I say 'stock footage', but they claimed to have their own private smelting plant (which makes them seem like a far more professional evil-organisation-bent-on-global-domination outfit than the other lot). Best of all was the list of the kinds of precious metals they'd buy; apart the obvious ones like gold, silver and platinum, they added 'dental'. This really confirmed their status as an evil SPECTRE-type group, conjuring up visions of gold filings being wrenched from the mouths of Jewish prisoners in WWII concentration camps. It also conjured up visions of cash-strapped idiots pulling out their own fillings with pliers and posting them to this company. Or worse, stalking the streets looking for sleeping tramps to rob of their fillings. These ads truly are wonderful - seek them out. I guarantee you'll be as entertained as I was!