Falling on Deaf Ears

Clearly, I need more excitement in my life. The other night I found myself getting worried about one of those people they have signing for the deaf in the corner of the screen during late night TV. Those signers are, in urn, both highly irritating and fascinating. I think I've mentioned before how they can also be quite educational - if you've ever watched a signed version of Deadwood, then you will have learned to swear in British sign language. Not just your common or garden swearing, but really good stuff like 'cocksucker', 'mother fucker' and 'cunt'. After a couple of episodes you'll be able to verbally abuse deaf people with confidence.

Anyway, getting back to the point, I stumbled across this signed programme whilst channel-hopping in the early hours the other night, as you do. What kept me watching was the fact that she looked about a hundred and three and on her last legs. I really feared that she might not make it to the end of the programme. Indeed, I even checked the schedules to see how much longer she'd have to go on for. Luckily, it wasn't long; it turned out to be a repeat of Crossing Jordan and lasted less than an hour. If it had been Ryan's Daughter, she'd never have made it. The saddest thing was that if she had suddenly pegged out, clutching at her chest as she collapsed, most of the three viewers watching would have thought that she was signing something happening on the screen. I was left wondering if they had a contingency plan for such an eventuality - is there a substitute signer standing by to leap in at a moment's notice? Like I said, I clearly need to get out more!