Peeping Tom TV

Whilst pondering on how best to utilise that webcam I bought over Christmas, I hit upon the idea of 'Peeping Tom TV' - voyeurism for the Web 2.0 generation. After all, anything seems to be OK if it is posted on YouTube (just so long as you aren't infringing somebody's copyright with your choice of backing track, of course) - dangerous driving, life-threatening idiotic stunts, grievous bodily harm - so why not voyeurism? We're not talking about spying on celebrities here - I've only got a webcam and laptop,for God's sake, not a whole surveillance suite! No, I'm thinking more along the lines of spying on my neighbours. Not puerile stuff like filming their underwear drying on the washing line, mind. Oh no! I'm thinking about the full-fledged peering in their windows-type stuff. After all, I'm sure some of them must get up to something exciting in the privacy of their own homes. Obviously, there are some technical difficulties to overcome - looking through their downstairs windows would be pretty straightforward (barring net curtains and blinds) - but, let's face it, nobody does anything racy in a downstairs room (unless they live in a bungalow). It's the upstairs we need access to, that's where all the action takes place, after all.

In order to get an eyeful of what's going on upstairs, I've come up with an amazing technical innovation - a long wooden pole. Basically, I'm going to attach the webcam to one end of the pole and, with the aid of USB extension cable, hold it up outside my neighbours' houses and peer through their windows. I reckon that, even at night, I should be able to see something, even if it is only through the crack in the curtains. Of course, the most interesting action could well be taking place in the bathroom, where the frosted glass traditionally utilised on bathroom windows could prove an obstacle. However, working on the principle that most people have the top light open when taking a bath or shower, I should be able to manipulate the pole so as to get the camera through this opening, although I might have to fix a periscope-type arrangement of mirrors to it, so as to be sure of being able to see the bath and/or shower. Mind you, the humidity could cause problems by fogging up the camera lens. I'm hoping that if I gather enough footage, I'll be able establish my own channel, and encourage others to follow my example. Pretty soon we could have the whole nation's bedroom antics on film. I'm sure nobody would object. It's like they say about those CCTV cameras - if you've nothing to hide, you've got nothing to be worried about.