Strange Stories

Ever since I mentioned my love of weird and whacky local news stories, I've been inundated with examples from readers. Perhaps the most perplexing of these was the tale of 42 year old Rose Millar of Bracknell, reported in the Surrey and Berks Free Advertiser, who apparently experienced a highly disturbing alien abduction experience. The petite divorcee told of how, after a night out with friends at a local club, she was awakened in the night to find her bedroom filled with an intense white light. “I was completely paralysed”, she claimed. “I could see two figures silhouetted in the light, then I blacked out. Next thing I knew I was lying on an examination table in this strange room!” Three strange figures then entered the room. “Two of them were tall, and walked as if they were wearing high heels, whilst the third was much shorter”, Millar recalled. “The short one approached me and I could see that its face was smooth and featureless. I could also see that it was wearing something on its head. With a shock I realised that it was wearing a wig!” Millar believes that the alien could have been wearing the wig, which she describes as being ginger and curly, to lessen the impact of its bizarre appearance and thereby reassure her. She claims that she recalls nothing more of the abduction, with her next recollection being of waking up the next morning with a splitting headache. “I don’t know what inhuman experiments they carried out on me, but I was throwing up all morning”, she informed the local paper.

Whilst sceptics might point out that, by her own admission, Millar had drunk in excess of five pints of Guinness and at least six cocktails prior to her experiences, there can be little doubt that the Bracknell area has recently become the epicentre of a series of strange occurrences. Around the time of Millar’s abduction, another Bracknell resident also claims to have had a close encounter with alien forces. Bricklayer Kevin Lipring told the Thames Valley Motor Mart of how, as he walked home from his local pub, clutching a bag of chips, he encountered a pair of strange beings at a bus-stop. “From a distance I just thought they were a pair of girls waiting for the night bus - they were wearing short skirts, high heels, the full works”, he recollects. “I walked over to them to tell them they had missed the last bus and offer to escort them home, when I realised something was amiss. As I got closer I realised that their facial features were simply not human. Without warning, one of them spewed a foul smelling liquid all over me, whilst the other one stunned me with a powerful weapon disguised as a handbag.” When Lipring came to, the aliens had vanished. “I knew I must have been out for some time, my chips had gone cold”, he mused. “I should have realised that there was something wrong earlier. I mean, looking back it now seems obvious that their legs were unfeasibly long and their breasts seemed to defy gravity.”

More of the same soon...