The Rules of the Game

I was listening to Jo Whiley in the car this morning (I know, it happens to the best of us), when a topic which has perplexed me a great deal came up - just what significance can us males attach to those Xs women out at the end of text and e-mail messages? Is just one 'kiss' normal? Or does it mean something deeper? This is important stuff to the male of the species - we find it difficult enough to read the signals women send out to us, even when we're face-to-face with them. The advent of things like text-messaging have made it ten times more difficult. What are we supposed to do? Misreading these signs could prove catastrophic! Anyway, Jo Whiley assured me that one 'kiss' is just a friend thing - so I haven't been misreading the signals.

However, can we be sure that all women are consistent on this subject? Just because one of them thinks one 'kiss' is a friendship thing doesn't mean the rest do as well. Clearly, what we need here are a universally agreed set of rules. Right now, the relationship situation is like the early days of football - organised locally with only the broad principles of the game agreed, and lots of local variations on rules. An emotional equivalent to the Football Association needs to be set up to formalise the rules with regard to women. Then, at least, we men will know where we stand. If we're in any doubt as to the intentions of a member of the opposite sex, we can simply consult the rule book. It would be that easy. Just imagine what a better place the world would be with this simple innovation - no misunderstandings, no embarrassment, no heartache. Wonderful! Let's do it!