Traitor or Tosser?

Some people are like bad pennies, they just keep turning up. Take David Shayler, for instance, the one-time fat bastard of the intelligence world, missing in inaction for a couple of years, has recently re-emerged as a full-fledged conspiracy nut and self-proclaimed Messiah. Now, I'm sure you all remember Shayler, the former Security Service filing clerk who, after some kind of falling out with his employers (over their refusal to provide chocolate biscuits at tea breaks), decided to start 'leaking' all kinds of made-up secrets about the UK's intelligence services to the newspapers. Well, a now somewhat slimmer Shayler has turned up telling the Daily Mail about his recent 'enlightenment'. Somehow I missed this, but luckily crackpot nut rag Fortean Times has reprinted this gem. Apparently it has all become clear to him that 9/11 was part of some plot or other - the Twin Towers were hit by missiles using holograms to disguise them as airliners. Yeah. He's also come to realise that he's the reincarnation of Attila the Hun, Pope Joan, Wang the Pervert, Mad King Ludwig and Laurel and Hardy. Oh yes, and Jesus. Which is why he now dresses in white and goes on about the 'Rod of Aaron' (which is surely some kind of euphemism, at lest it was in that film I saw, The Strong Right Hand of God, a docudrama about the religious benefits of masturbation).

"Do I look mentally ill? Do I sound mentally ill?" he asks readers. Well, yes. And yes. The only other person I know who dresses all in white is a bloke who wanders around my local town centre playing 1980s music from a stereo cassette player and laughing maniacally. That's when he isn't thumbing through the porn mags in the local newsagent. This poor fellow suffers from schizophrenia and only indulges in such behaviour when he forgets to take his medication. Shayler has no such excuse for behaviour which I find far more bizarre. As for sounding mentally ill, well every sane person knows that those were airliners which hit the Twin Towers. They were being radio controlled by giant shape shifting lizards disguised as the Queen and Prince Philip. But seriously, I find it deeply disturbing that such a person was ever given security clearances to work in the Security Service. Many years ago The Sleaze ran a poll - 'David Shayler: Traitor or Tosser?' (the consensus of the one person who voted was 'tosser'). Perhaps we should run another one - 'David Shayler: Tosser or Totally Tonto?'