A New TV Hell

Having dispensed with the hell that was cable TV in favour of Freeview, I've now discovered a little pocket of purgatory on this platform. Nestling amongst the various shopping channels (does anybody actually watch these?), is the horror that is Nuts TV. Moronic would be too mild a word to describe this heap of shite which, mercifully, only broadcasts for four hours a day. In fact, it seems to have difficulty in filling even this meagre amount of broadcast time. As far as I can see, it doesn't actually transmit anything which could be described as a 'programme'. Instead it just seems to consist of hour upon hour of two idiots trying desperately to appear 'hip' sitting on a sofa babbling away in a desperate attempt to fill up the hours. Every so often they are joined by a 'guest' who clearly hasn't a clue where they are, as inane questions are fired at them. Occasionally, this mess is punctuated by a 'feature', which usually involves several dim-witted girls in their underwear being forced to participate in some idiotic contest by a leering and apparently mentally retarded male presenter.

The closest thing to a 'name' presenter they have is 'Comedy' Dave Vitty, serial sidekick from Radio One. He co-presents a sports strand with some idiot who appears to have stumbled in off of the street. I know he's recently become a father, and all that, but really, if he's that desperate for cash he'd be better off selling his arse to sailors in Soho. Not only would he retain his integrity, but he'd probably feel a lot cleaner, too. Watching more than two minutes of this farrago is profoundly depressing. It feels as if you've stumbled across some kind of pirate TV broadcast from somebody's front room whilst their parents are away. Anyone who complains about the licence fee, or the number of adverts on ITV, should be forced to watch this shit - this is what we'll be condemned to if the TV licence is abolished, or ITV's ad revenues fall drastically. Wall-to-wall shit. This really is TV for idiots.