Did Modern Medicine Wreck My Arsehole?

Just lately I've noticed that my farting isn't what it used to be. Time was that I could enjoy letting go the full range of anal announcements, from those little one cheek lifts to those long low farts which seem to go on forever. Bum rattlers, silent-but-deadlies, loud trumpets, rasping exhales - my arsehole could handle them all. But of late all I've been able to produce are single blarts. Very frustrating. Could this really be the same arse which once - quite literarlly - blew off a letter box in Bristol? I miss the music of the more complex farts. Besides, it's boring - variety is, after all, the spice of life.

I strongly suspect that the course of antibiotics I had to take a few months ago when I had an infected tooth might be behind this sorry state of affairs. Whilst clearing up the infection, they also turned my stomach inside out. My bumhole was regularly blazing and definitely over worked. It could well be that, as a result, it has lost some of its flexibility and become 'loose lipped', so to speak. I'm currently engaging in a series of bum-clenching exercises, in the hope of strengthening by arsehole and regaining some of its flexibility. I sincerely hope that it can be restored to its former glory. I really miss lying in the bath after the water has drained out and letting go a long purring fart against the enamel. The bath acts as an echo chamber, magnifying the sound and making the walls vibrate. The last time I was able to do it, months ago, plaster fell off of the ceiling. Ah, happy days!