Universal Hate

You know, while listening to an item on Radio Four about the Tories' attempt to replace five hundred and seventy two types of benefit, (or however many there are), with a single 'Universal Credit' system, why can't they replace all the major types of hate and bigotry with a single 'Universal Hate'?  I men, it would make it so much easier for bigots, neo Nazis and the like, none of all that nonsense of having to keep up with who you are meant to be hating this week - it will be covered in a single package of hate.  Then there are those really annoying days when you just want to go out and harass some Muslims, but you just can't find any, but there are a lot of homosexuals about.  Except that, under he present system of hate, they are only fair game if you are a homophobe, but you are an Islamaphobe.  But under 'Universal Hate', it would be OK - you could go out and harass anybody you liked.  Just so long as they are a minority, of course.

Such a simplification of bigotry would undoubtedly be a boon for the bigots themselves.  The likes of the EDL and BNP frequently seem somewhat confused as to who they are marching against.  Now it won't matter.  If you want to burn down a mosque, but can't find one, don't worry.  A synagogue will do instead.  But look, it works for victims, too.  No more of that tiresome rigamarole of trying to work out what sort of hate you've been subjected to when reporting it to the police.  That's right, no more wasting time trying to decide whether you've been the subject of homophobia, racial prejudice or disability hatred - it's all just plain old 'Universal Hate'.  (Surely a boon for all those black, one-legged lesbians the likes of the Daily Mail seems to think are out there).  It would be good for the police, too: only one type of hate crime for them to ignore.  Everybody's a winner!  If nothing else, this just goes to underline how mind-numbingly dull my job is that I find myself thinking of stuff like this!