Road to Brexit

So, who's Bob Hope and who is Bing Crosby?  I can only assume this 'Road to Brexit' malarky is an attempt by the government to revive the popular series of films from the 1940s starring Hope and Crosby.  What better way to sell Brexit to the population than via an amusing musical comedy featuring a wise cracking comedian and a popular radio crooner having whacky adventurers on their way to some exotic location?  Except, of course, that Brexit seems a less appealing destination with every day that passes.  But to get back to the original question - I'm sure that Boris Johnson would like to see himself as Bob Hope (indeed, he's probably even more right wing than Hope), full of perfectly timed wisecracks and finely honed gags.  That said, Hope's usual cowardly screen persona would probably be at odds with Boris' (deluded) self image of an heroic Churchillian leader.  But if Boris is Bob Hope, would this make Theresa May Bing Crosby?  I've no idea whether she croons, but it would suit the adversarial nature of the original duo's relationship: perpetually bickering and trying to put one over on each other.

Then again, perhaps Chancellor Philip Hammond would be a better Bing.  (Certainly, from a physical point of view - he's obviously male, for one thing, and tall and thin for another, making him the perfect comedy duo foil to chubby Boris/Bob).  He and Boris are completely at odds as to the future shape of Brexit and, like Bob and Bing, they are vying to win over the attentions of the same woman: Dorothy Lamour in the latter's case, Theresa May in Boris and Phil's.  As for the plot, well, I suppose that it will involve the usual japes of having to evade the schemes of troublesome locals like Michel Barnier and Donald Tusk although, so far, the details are pretty vague.  I mean, the other day Boris was inviting us sceptics to embrace the government's (ie his) 'vision' of Brexit.  The problem was that he still failed to conjure up any kind of coherent vision of a successful UK outside of the EU.  Which doesn't bode well - I fear that this latest 'Road' movie will end up being more akin to the woeful 1962 attempt to revive the series, Road to Hong Kong, than to the series peak of Road to Rio.