Monday, June 20, 2016

Witchcraft by Mail?

Before proceeding any further, a note to Facebook, which greeted me today with the declaration that today is the beginning of Summer: no it isn't - in meteorological terms, (and when it comes to weather and seasonally related maters, no other terms mean a thing), Summer starts at the beginning of June, not the solstice.  That's why June, July and August are characterised as being the Summer months.  Unless, of course, you live in the Southern hemisphere, in which case those are the Winter months and Summer starts with December.  Oh, and while I'm setting Facebook right on basic matters of fact, you were wasting your time yesterday telling me it was father's day: I'm not a father and my own father died more than a decade ago,  Cheers for that.

OK, on with today's post proper.  I get a fair amount of spam emails, in the past it was all about Russian brides, erectile dysfunction and penis enlargement, then it switched to Nigerian bank scams and other fake 'business' opportunities.  More recently, it's got downright weird, with offers to put me in touch with MILFs and (most bizarrely) offers to sell me discounted nappies.  But yesterday I received one which topped them all in the weirdness stakes (I've removed the sender's name and other details, obviously):

I am by name Dr Xxxxx Xxxxx ( The spell caster) I am a witch doctor who helps people to retrieve back their husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend. I am well known as one of the best witch doctor across the world. Is a gift from my father to help those that are in serious spiritual problem. Do u want your ex relationship back? Are you searching for true love? Are you afraid of losing your lover and u want to put that ultimate stamp on your love relationship? Or you have been disappointed in you day to day life? You need that supernatural breakthrough in your finances?All you need do is to contact me at my Email: 
I have been giving the power from God to save His people from difficulties and I know you can't contact me without having a solution from GOD to put an end to your problems. I hope to hear from you soon if ready to get out of that problem.

Best wishes, Dr Xxxxx Xxxxxx"

It's nice to know that the reach of the traditional witch doctor now extends worldwide, rather than just being confined to some parts of Africa.  That said, it's all very confused, mixing the idea of black magic with Christianity.  I suppose it's all part of globalising the brand: you have to appeal to pagans and non-pagans alike.What puzzles me is why anyone would think that someone in Crapchester, England might need help with a 'spiritual breakthrough' from a witch doctor in, presumably, Africa.  I mean, there are enough supposed witches and other assorted weirdos around here if I wanted such help.

Still, it makes a change from all the MILFs and nappies, I suppose.

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Blogger Nasreen Iqbal said...

Brazilian girls in my area are looking for me. Also, I have been approved for a free psychic reading.

That's according to my spam folder.

1:25 am  

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