That Uncharitable Feeling

Autumn has definitely arrived.  All the signs are there - the nights drawing in, the leaves falling from the trees, evening temperatures dropping sufficiently to trigger the thermostat controlling my central heating.  Oh, and the trailers for bloody Children in Need.  The BBC's annual telethon just keeps rolling around with the inevitability of an unloved season, (to paraphrase Bond villain Hugo Drax in Moonraker - the 1979 film rather than the novel, obviously).  At least Comic Relief is only every other year, although it makes up for that by being even more self-important overblown than Children in Need.  Anyway, to return to the point, Children in Need kicked off this evening with a suitably over the top video for this year's Children in Need charity single - an unnecessary cover of 'God Only Knows'.  Still, I suppose it is better than an awful cover by the boy band (or girl band) of the day, which is what we usually get.  It's also better than the Comic Relief equivalent: an 'hilarious' 'comedy' version of some song or other performed by various self-styled comedians.

Which brings me to the crux of why I dislike these celebrity-driven TV charity things: whilst they seem to exist primarily for celebrities to salve their consciences about earning all that money and not paying their taxes, they still seem reluctant to commit their best efforts, performance-wise, to them.  Just look at Comic Relief - a collection of pretty lame routines and sketches from various celebrities, punctuated by 'heart-rending' films of them 'helping' poor people in Africa.  None of it is their best material.  Obviously - they want to reserve that for paying audiences, (paying their box-office, not charity, that is).  To be fair, I have to admit that it is years since I've seen Comic Relief, so it could have improved since then, but I doubt it.  Children in Need is, if anything, even worse, with its dire regional opt-outs to show us what the local micro-celebrities in our regions are doing to encourage us to give money.  It's this shoddiness which offends me - the idea that just because something is for charity, you can get away with serving up any old shit.  If nothing else, it displays an incredibly patronising attitude on the part of the participating celebrities with regard to the public.  If you want us to donate money, then at least have the decency to put some effort into entertaining us.  Or, even better, why not try making some sizeable donations from your own sizeable bank accounts?  It's tax deductible, after all.