More Monday Musings

Another glorious chapter in Britain's military history was written the other day when RAF Tornados finally struck at ISIS targets - and succeeded in destroying a pick-up truck.  How the nation rejoiced at the news that a motor vehicle probably worth at least five hundred quid had been blown to bits by munitions costing tens of thousands of pounds, dropped from an aircraft costing millions,  Fuck me, I thought when I heard the news, it's like the 'Dambusters' all over again - our brave boys succeed in taking out a high value target in the face of overwhelming odds.  I had visions of some angry Jihadist stood next to the smouldering wreckage of his vehicle, furiously shaking his fist at the departing fighter plane, shouting: 'Damn you English Devils, I only had three more payments to go and that pick-up would have been mine!'  Fired by this success, Cameron has announced that the UK is going to double the number of combat aircraft dedicated to the anti-ISIS operation.  Which sounds impressive, until you realise that still only amounts to four aircraft.  Still, if we're lucky, that might mean that next time they destroy two pick-up trucks.

Mind you, our dear Prime Minister hasn't been satisfied with merely denuding ISIS' fighting capabilities by destroying its motor pool.  Oh no.  He's turned detective, too.  Not satisfied with the progress of the police's investigation into the murder of a teenage girl in London, Cameron vowed that he'd look into the case personally.  And it worked! Within a couple of days the body of the prime suspect in the case was found.  Is there no end to Dave's talents?  More importantly, have the government's spending cuts gone so deep that the police now have to rely on the Prime Minister to solve crimes?  I know that it has been claimed that some police forces are effectively telling victims of minor offences that they have to solve their own crimes, but this is bloody ridiculous.  The danger is that, with this success under his belt, Cameron will be encouraged to set up a private detective agency on the side and we'll see a stream of dodgy clients going through the side door of number ten.  Still, it would give him a legitimate excuse to hang round sleazy bars sporting a fedora, fake moustache and long rain coat.