Kicking Cameron Up the Arse

When the dust has finally settled on that revolution I keep hoping for and our tanks are parked on Downing Street, I'd like to imagine that we'd finally be able to give David Cameron his just desserts.  I have no doubt that, under these circumstances, he'd be found cowering under the table in the cabinet room of Number Ten, or hiding behind his wife and children, begging for mercy.  But mercy is the one thing we must not show him.  Now, whilst one's first instinct would undoubtedly be to put the snivelling little Old Etonian git in front of a wall and shoot him, but this would be wrong.  Not just because I don't believe in the death penalty, either. No, I believe that, once the little despot is deposed, (and believe me, he'll have to be deposed s he's already shown that he'll try to rig the electoral process any way he can in order to stay in power), the best punishment for him will be public humiliation.  It's only just, as he and his government continue to humiliate tens of thousands of working class people every day, forcing them to jump through hoops in order to claim the benefits they are entitled to, then branding them fraudsters and layabouts because they have the misfortune to be unemployed.

Of course, the bastards argue, there are jobs out there, but these lazy benefit cheats have to be forced to take them.  Obviously they have to be forced, as these so-called 'jobs' are, in the main, zero hours, minimum wage indentured labour.  A modern serfdom, in effect.  These are 'jobs' which pay so poorly that those doing them are frequently forced to resort to using food banks.  Mind you, at least they pay something.  Unlike the 'work experience' many are sent on with well-known High Street firms, under threat of having their benefits stopped if they don't.  This really is slave labour.  A slave labour that we, as tax payers, subsidise, as, instead of having to pay wages, pension contributions, National Insurance and the like to actual employees, companies that already make millions of pounds worth of profits off of us consumers get workers whose benefits are paid by us.  Not that you'd know that any of this was going on if you'd watched the recent triumphalist Tory Party conference where, despite having failed to meet any of their economic targets, the likes of Cameron crowed about their 'success' and promised more spending cuts, more freezes on benefits and more tax cuts.  They clearly need to be taken down a peg or two.

Which brings us back to the humiliation of David Cameron when our brave revolutionary boys finally have him in their hands, post revolution.  Now, I'm not a violent man, but there are some people who make me so angry that I feel I could happily punch them in the face.  The thought of feeling their nose break beneath my knuckles, or of knocking out their teeth, gives me a momentary flash of satisfaction.  But a punch in the face just doesn't seem humiliating enough for the victim.  Besides, it is too crude, the action of a drunken street brawler rather than a calculated act of revenge.  Which is why I can't help but feel that what we will need to do is drag him out into the street and invite anyone who felt humiliated by the actions of Cameron's government, to give Dave a a good hard kick up the arse.  Just the one.  But all the kicks up the arse will be in public and televised live to the world.  Being kicked up the arse from one end of Downing Street to the other by what I'm sure Cameron would consider 'horrible oiks' would, I can't help but feel, be the most humiliating ting we could do to him.  So, if  the opportunity to kick Cameron up the arse isn't sufficient incentive to start a revolution, I don't know what is.