Smart Phone Bores

Smart phone bores - they are rapidly becoming one of my pet hates. Now, don't get me wrong here - I have nothing against smart phones in principle, and my target here isn't the average smart phone user. (Indeed, I'm well aware that plenty of people read both this blog and The Sleaze on their smart phones and I have no wish to alienate them - so if you are reading this on your Blackberry, iPhone or other smart phone, you are exempt from all criticism). I know plenty of people who have smart phones but don't feel the urge to bore everyone around them with the bloody things. No, I'm talking about the arseholes who bring them to the pub and proceed to hijack every conversation to talk about their phones, or discuss technical details amongst themselves. It isn't just boring, it is downright fucking rude. Consequently, my reaction to them these days is to get out my newspaper and start reading it, completely ignoring their tedious 'conversation' and refusing to rejoin the chat until they put their toys away. Crude, but surprisingly effective.

A lot of these mind-numbingly dull technological interludes are the result of some of these individuals having bought a smart phone without having any clear idea of what they are going to use it for or, even worse, without any idea of how to use the bloody thing beyond making calls and sending texts. Which is precisely the reason I've never bought a smart phone - barely use my existing mobile phone beyond sending the odd text and I honestly can't think of any real use I would have for the enhanced capabilities of a smart phone. Indeed, watching some of these bores trying to justify their smart phone ownership is often painful. For instance, I was recently told of how brilliant it was to set up the calender function to give reminders of a series of regular hospital appointments for the phone owner's mother. They seemed a bit crestfallen when I responded that I used my mother's tried and tested method for keeping track of such things: by circling the relevant dates on a normal calender. It works just as well and doesn't crash or run out of battery life. Obviously, I'm not saying that smart phones per se are pointless, just that for many of the people who own them, they are overkill and really constitute a status symbol rather than a useful tool.