Fuelling the Revolution

Now, I know I said that I would confine myself to only one political rant a week and that I've already met my allowance for this week, but- tough! I'm going to indulge in another one! Ha! It's my bloody blog and I can make and break the rules as I please. How do you like them apples, eh? Anyway, getting to the point, not only has this pitiful excuse for a government shown itself as utterly venal and corrupt this week, but now it has underlined its utter incompetence and inability to manage the simplest of situations. I refer, of course, to the current panic it has whipped up with regard to the possible strike by fuel tanker drivers. Thanks to the government's idiotic advice to people to fill up their cars in advance, despite no strike dates having been set, we are now teetering on the brink of a crisis, with petrol stations running out of fuel and road congestion as idiots queue for miles at filling stations. As someone who was delayed getting home tonight because of such congestion, I have one thing to say to any of you who were queuing up to panic buy petrol or diesel: you are fucking morons.

Personally, I'm refusing to be panicked by these aresholes. My fuel gauge dropped below halfway today and do you know what I did? That's right, I kept on driving. Now it is reading slightly over a quarter full. And I'm still not panicking. I'm also not filling up cans of petrol and storing them under my house. Actually, I would urge people to fill up cans of petrol - you'll need them for making firebombs once the revolution gets under way. After all, if this doesn't prove the need to remove these bastards from power, I don't know what does. Really, we need to start getting out onto those streets and making our feelings known. The time for being reasonable is long over and it is clear that change isn't going to come from above. We have to take matters into our own hands. I know that I've upset people at work and in the pub with my declarations that I'll only be satisfied when I see David Cameron and George Osborne's heads bouncing down the steps of parliament, but I stand by my belief that the French revolutionaries had the right idea: execute the entire ruling elite. Although rather than a guillotine, I'd be inclined to shoot them all. Believe me, after the revolution, I'll be lining the bastards up against the wall and shooting them. Indeed, that will be one of my first job creation schemes - building enough walls to line all those Tories, bankers and CBI members up against. They say that construction is the key to kickstarting the economy, after all.

(Once again, as you never know who reads these things - this is satire, I'm not actually inciting anyone to make or throw firebombs, or to decapitate members of the cabinet. Even if they are corrupt incompetent bastards).