Corrupt Bastards

Ha! Didn't I tell you they were corrupt bastards, eh? Now there's unequivocal proof - pay the Tories half a million quid and you don't just get to meet the likes of Cameron and Osborne, but you get the chance to influence policy as well. Don't worry if your moolah comes from an overseas company, which can't legally make donations to a UK political party, they have a 'compliance unit' that can launder the cash for you. This is damning stuff. Yet, does anyone except the Tories' top fundraiser Peter Cruddas, the man caught on camera soliciting the money, resign? Are there calls for Cameron and his cronies to resign? No. Instead we get people actually trying to defend the corrupt Tory bastards! Apparently Labour were just as bad when in power, the fact that they accept funds from the Unions make them just as corrupt, etc., etc. Actually, whatever the last Labour government did or didn't do is irrelevant. Besides, they weren't caught on film soliciting illegal donations. But the Tories are in power now and they were caught at it. Oh, and Labour's Union funding is actually quite different - taking open and above board donations from the very organisations which originally founded the party as a political platform to promote workers' rights is quite different to taking bribes from dodgy businessmen who will benefit directly from tax changes and privatisations.

Another key issue here is the fact that Cameron admits to meeting these donors (perfectly innocently, he says) at dinners held in his Downing Street flat and Chequers. Now, as both of those properties are actually Crown property and the functions were purely party political fundraisers, isn't that an abuse of his position and government assets? But hey, perhaps I'm being too harsh? After all, if we're to believe the Tory Party Chairman, the despicable Michael Fallon, (I actually shout 'cunt' repeatedly at the TV every time he appears - I've been banned from Comet for life as a result), Peter Cruddas was barely known to him and wasn't a very important part of the party machine at all, definitely not a key player with links to the PM. Of course not. He was only the party treasurer and chief fundraiser, after all. We've heard similar shit from the unspeakable Francis Maude, whilst Cameron's initial reaction was to arrogantly dismiss it all and start going on about how this government had inherited billions of pounds worth of deficit, etc., etc. How that is relevant to allowing wealthy donors to dictate policy isn't clear. Unless, that is, he's planning to use these donations to pay off the deficit? If nothing else, this corruption scandal has shown us a way ahead for combating this government's disgraceful policies. It seems I've been barking up the wrong tree with my calls for mass civil disobedience and citizen uprisings to seize back power. None of this is necessary - all we need to do is bribe the corrupt bastards. So, I'm going to start doing the lottery again, and when I win the jackpot I'll be making a big donation to the Tory party and demanding my meeting with Dave. During which I'll lay it out for him - if he wants to keep getting my money, I want socialism in return! Hell, if we're going to be a banana republic, then we might as well all play by the same rules.