Bear Terror

So, was that Norwegian Polar bear actually an al Qeada operative, or just an extreme right-wing Christian fundamentalist acting alone? Whilst I'm sure that the press are itching to label it as the former, it has all the hallmarks of being the latter. I mean, it attacked a group of teenagers on a Norwegian island, but didn't seem to be part of any organised terror network. That said, I'm sure that the press will lose no time in finding pictures of the bear attending a mosque and wearing traditional Muslim dress. Actually, there's a ready made headline for them: 'Bear-kha Terror!' Obviously, the fact that the group of teenagers it attacked were all British, and not ethnically diverse, will be see as significant. To be honest, I'm quite surprised that the news channels haven't cleared their schedules to follow this story, wheeling on endless bear experts to assess the risk of further ursine attacks.

Of course, it wouldn't be the first time that al Qeada has tried deploying animals as terror weapons. If we're to believe the tabloids, that is. I vaguely remember stories about monkeys being trained to use guns, so that they could be used as assassins. I'm sure there have been others - suicide bomber pigeons, perhaps. Or seagulls trained to fly into the engines of airliners in order to bring them down. How about terror trained attack dogs? That generates another instant headline: 'Bark-ah Terror!' But hang on - there's news coming in that they've uncovered evidence that the killer Polar bear had been in contact with bears in zoos all over the world, including the UK! Apparently he posted a lengthy screed on his blog before the attack to justify his actions - it quotes Paddington Bear at length...