More Lunacy From the Inbox of Doc Sleaze

I was beginning to fear that I was losing my ability to attract the nutters. In my capacity as editor of The Sleaze, I used to get all manner of strange e-mails from weirdos all over the web - vampire hunters, psychics, occultists, neo-Nazis, TV researchers and religious freaks. But over the past few years all that traffic seems to have dried up. Perhaps my mail service's spam filters have improved, or maybe word got around the fruit cake community that e-mailing me does them no good - I'll just ridicule them more. Whatever the reason, I'd pretty much given up hope of ever receiving another wonderful piece of lunacy, so you can imagine my delight at receiving a missive entitled 'Second Coming' yesterday. It gets off to a cracking start:

Agnus Dei is representative of Magnus Deity. The bible says Christ knew
their thoughts because he was telepathic, like how I am too, and you will
experience it if you get close to me. What the bible doesn’t say is that
people knew the thoughts of Jesus, due to him being omnipresent, like how I
am too and you will also experience that if you get close to me.

Telepathic, eh? Maybe that's how they knew I was hoping for an e-mail from a certifiable maniac to take the piss out of. But all that business about getting 'close to me' is a bit worrying - is he propositioning me, or something? But let's get back to the e-mail:

The bible predicts a red moon which I saw in Wales on Trinity Sunday
evening, it looked like ‘the sun rising in dark times’.
The bible also predicts the sun and moon will be darkened, which will be
perfect circles of cloud covering each so to prove to the public I am Agnus
Dei, God will let these signs occur only if I am Agnus Dei. The moon being
covered this year, the sun next year.

Red Moon? I think you'll find that's down to moisture in the atmosphere, or something. Actually, the moon often seems to have a reddish tint during the early months of the year. Can't say I've noticed the moon being obscured by circular clouds though. But wait, there are more predictions:

There are also predictions of the
sign of the son of man, that was probably the eye in the sky sign I
predicted to UK authorities would occur only to prove to them I am the man
religions have been waiting.
Prophecies also predict he will return like a thief in the night, yep
fulfilled that prophecy too.
The great harlot and their lot were/are people in UK royalty and
authorities of the UK, ‘they marvelled at her jewels’ says the bible.

Wow! Heavy shit man! Eye in the sky, eh? That 'surveillance society' is just getting out of hand, isn't it? So the UK's royalty and authorities are 'harlots', if I'm reading this right? No shit. Not sure about marvelling 'at her jewels', though. Sounds a bit like he means the government are a bunch of peeping Toms - we're back to that surveillance society again.

Well, that's about all there is to this message, aside from a web link I've not bothered clicking on and have no intention of printing here. It probably leads either to malware or more lunacy. But I'm still mystified as to why this joker is telling me all this? Don't get me wrong - I'm glad to receive this as it has provided me with much amusement, but really, I don't give a damn, even if I could understand exactly what it's all about! Perhaps it's satire and the author thinks he's submitting a story. Who knows. Who cares. Long live the lunatics - they make life worthwhile!