Porn to Be Wild
"I really thought we'd got it this time, but it just isn't working," declares a greased up Dennis Jigger, as he disengages himself from a pair of female adult movie performers. "I honestly believed that giving it to her in the navel, whilst slapping her buttocks like bongo drums, with the second girl simultaneously giving her oral whilst sticking her left toe up my butt, was going to be the next big thing." Top porn movie producer and performer Jigger has been chasing the Holy Grail of an entirely new sexual position for the past two years, with no success. "It's absolutely essential that we come up with something fresh and exciting," he explains, unclipping a pair of clothes pegs from his nipples. "If we don't, there's a very real danger that the porn-viewing public will become bored and start deserting the industry!" According to Jigger, with the advent of internet porn, demand for ever more extreme sex is soaring. "People just aren't interested in the traditional one on one conventional shagging stuff anymore," he says, adjusting his leather thong. "They just get off on it - they need something more exotic for their fix nowadays!"
Jigger claims that most of the sex acts currently featured in pornography - and generally accepted as being normal - were actually invented less than ten years ago. "Look, until 1971 there were only two sexual positions: missionary position and doggy-style. Everyone was satisfied with that, nobody suspected that anything else was possible, or could be satisfying," he says. "But then porn movies started becoming legit and reaching a wider audience - they had to come up with some new stuff to pad them out. I mean, ninety minutes of just two positions alternating would bore the arse off of even the most ardent porn hound!" At first, these new positions were little more than mid variations on the existing techniques - a quick 'knee trembler' performed standing up, for instance, or the woman on top - but the advent of the video cassette led to even greater demand for variety. "I mean, people could watch these things over and over again in their own homes - to stop them getting bored we needed to come up with ever more innovative sex," declares Jigger. "So, in the eighties they came up with anal. It was a sensation, and remains popular to this day!" However, back door sex alone couldn't meet the insatiable demands of porn consumers. "To keep them buying and renting those videos, we had to keep giving them something new," he recalls. "So after anal, we came up with oral. Then in the nineties we started giving them girl-on-girl action - they loved that!"
With the advent of the web, pornographers really found themselves under pressure to keep coming up with new forms of sex. "Jesus, it's been a nightmare," admits Jigger. "With porn now effectively 'on demand' twenty four hours a day, accessible on lap tops, mobile phones, the whole shebang, it's become a non-stop race to fund the next kinky thing before the punters get bored." The consequence has been an explosion in extreme pornography. "Hell, the stuff we've had to come up with - bondage, machines, electrical torture, spankings, underwater vibrator sex - it's enough to tax the imagination of even the most depraved pervert," he laments. "Then there's the pay-offs for this stuff we have to come up with - ejaculating over the girls tits, their faces, up their noses. Frankly, we've run out of orifices to pleasure!" With porn consumers apparently becoming ever more jaded and desensitised to whatever new types of sex the pornographers can devise, sex has increasingly been mixed with violence. "We're not talking about your regular bondage or chastisement stuff," says Jigger. "We're talking about real hardcore stuff - people having sex whilst bare-knuckle fighting, that sort of stuff. It seems nowadays the punters just can't get off without seeing a woman physically abused." Worried by this rise in violent porn, Jigger believes it is essential that the industry come up with entirely new exotic, but non-violent - sexual positions and forms of intercourse to keep the punters interested. "Trust me, if we can't do this, then things are going to get worse," he opines. "Before you know it, internet porn won't just involve guys getting of by killing women, but they'll be shagging the corpses, as well!"
Jigger claims that most of the sex acts currently featured in pornography - and generally accepted as being normal - were actually invented less than ten years ago. "Look, until 1971 there were only two sexual positions: missionary position and doggy-style. Everyone was satisfied with that, nobody suspected that anything else was possible, or could be satisfying," he says. "But then porn movies started becoming legit and reaching a wider audience - they had to come up with some new stuff to pad them out. I mean, ninety minutes of just two positions alternating would bore the arse off of even the most ardent porn hound!" At first, these new positions were little more than mid variations on the existing techniques - a quick 'knee trembler' performed standing up, for instance, or the woman on top - but the advent of the video cassette led to even greater demand for variety. "I mean, people could watch these things over and over again in their own homes - to stop them getting bored we needed to come up with ever more innovative sex," declares Jigger. "So, in the eighties they came up with anal. It was a sensation, and remains popular to this day!" However, back door sex alone couldn't meet the insatiable demands of porn consumers. "To keep them buying and renting those videos, we had to keep giving them something new," he recalls. "So after anal, we came up with oral. Then in the nineties we started giving them girl-on-girl action - they loved that!"
With the advent of the web, pornographers really found themselves under pressure to keep coming up with new forms of sex. "Jesus, it's been a nightmare," admits Jigger. "With porn now effectively 'on demand' twenty four hours a day, accessible on lap tops, mobile phones, the whole shebang, it's become a non-stop race to fund the next kinky thing before the punters get bored." The consequence has been an explosion in extreme pornography. "Hell, the stuff we've had to come up with - bondage, machines, electrical torture, spankings, underwater vibrator sex - it's enough to tax the imagination of even the most depraved pervert," he laments. "Then there's the pay-offs for this stuff we have to come up with - ejaculating over the girls tits, their faces, up their noses. Frankly, we've run out of orifices to pleasure!" With porn consumers apparently becoming ever more jaded and desensitised to whatever new types of sex the pornographers can devise, sex has increasingly been mixed with violence. "We're not talking about your regular bondage or chastisement stuff," says Jigger. "We're talking about real hardcore stuff - people having sex whilst bare-knuckle fighting, that sort of stuff. It seems nowadays the punters just can't get off without seeing a woman physically abused." Worried by this rise in violent porn, Jigger believes it is essential that the industry come up with entirely new exotic, but non-violent - sexual positions and forms of intercourse to keep the punters interested. "Trust me, if we can't do this, then things are going to get worse," he opines. "Before you know it, internet porn won't just involve guys getting of by killing women, but they'll be shagging the corpses, as well!"
Labels: Satire
posted by Doc Sleaze at
7:42 pm
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