A Life of Solitude

What are the rules on being a hermit? I only ask because I am again considering a life of solitude. Every so often I get to the stage where I decide that what I really need is to reduce my level of human contact to a minimum. It's not that I'm entirely misanthropic, you understand. It is just that I find that when human beings are directly involved, even the simplest transaction becomes overly complex. That's why I love the internet - I can buy things without having to deal with sales people and other customers. It's very restful and makes shopping almost pleasurable. Then there's the business of 'social interaction' and 'social pleasantries'. Frankly, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to go through these utterly meaningless rituals with colleagues and acquaintances. It's all such a waste of time and, worst of all, completely insincere on everyone's part. So I'm back to the idea of being a hermit.

The trouble is that my image of a hermit is some wild-looking guy with a huge beard who lives in a cave in the back of beyond and hasn't taken a bath in at least a decade. All of which present problems for me. Most fundamentally, I rate personal hygiene pretty highly and have always found beards pretty irritating. Then there's the cave business. This implies a complete lack of amenities and modern conveniences. Whilst I want to avoid most people, there are some I'd like to keep in touch with, and without the internet, how would I do any shopping? Look, can't I be a hermit and still live in my house, just not go out much? Or would that make me a recluse? Because I'd much rather be a hermit than a recluse. Recluse sounds slightly sinister, (implying some kind of crazy man who shoots at the post man with an air pistol and shits out of the windows), whilst hermits are usually also wise men (like Obi Wan Kenobi, for instance). It's all very confusing.