Skin Deep (Part Two)

It was long rumoured that distinguished British thespian Sir Rex Harrison relied upon a programme of secret organ transplants and blood transfusions to ensure his longevity. It was claimed that he had shady agreements with several Mexican hospitals to supply him with livers, kidneys and even hearts harvested from patients on their children’s wards. The transplants themselves were allegedly carried out by fugitive Nazi mad scientist Dr Josef Mengele in his secret laboratory hidden deep in the Brazilian rain-forest. Unfortunately, the new organs suffered a high rejection rate, with Harrison visibly ageing as they failed. As his demand for new organs outstripped the Mexican hospitals’ ability to supply them, Harrison apparently took to cruising the streets of Tijuana in his Rolls Royce, posing as an ageing peadophile in order to pick up young boys. The trail of organ-less blood drained bodies baffled Mexican police for decades. It has been claimed that when Sir Rex finally died in 1990, (following the discovery and destruction of Mengele’s lab by Mossad agents in 1988), he was actually 126 years old, rather than 82 years old, as officially claimed.

Harrison’s good friend the Queen Mother was also said to rely upon surgery and blood transfusions to maintain her incredible good looks, (as the Daily Mail observed on the occasion if her 101st birthday, she didn’t look a day over 98), but did not resort to murder or organ-snatching. According to veteran royal-watcher Hugh Ropley-Tossington she regularly had her skin surgically removed and ironed to smooth out the wrinkles. She was then stitched back into it, looking at least five years younger. It has also been claimed that she received regular infusions of lizard and crocodile blood, in the belief that reptilian lower metabolic rates would help increase her lifespan. However, serious side-effects were rumoured, with the News of the World recently claiming that, before her death, she had developed hard, scaly skin and had taken to catching flies with her three-foot long tongue and basking in the sunlight on the banks of the Serpentine. Moreover, when supplies of blood from the reptile house at London Zoo were seen being delivered to the private hospital she was treated in during 2001, it fuelled theories that she was, as claimed by David Icke, actually a shape-shifting lizard from another dimension.