Drag Queens' Den

Wouldn't the awful Dragon's Den be so much better if the panel of suits who sit in judgement on would-be entrepreneurs were instead a bunch of drag queens in garish make up and high heels? It would certainly make them seem a bloody sight less pretentious. It's difficult to seem smug and superior when you're wearing fish net stockings and a short skirt and, as far as I can see, the main purpose of this series is the ritual humiliation of 'ordinary' people in order to emphasise just how clever and successful the panel are. It's just one of a how slew of programmes which seem to dominate our TV schedules in which a group of supposedly successful 'professionals' sit in judgement on members of the public. Usually this 'judgements' consist of abuse and belittling of the contestants' abilities. Whilst it is true that most of the contestants are shit, they still don't deserve that kind of treatment.

But of course, it isn't about the contestants, it is really about stroking the egos of the judges. They just want to show us all how fabulously talented, successful, clever, rich and, most importantly, powerful, they are. They've spent years in their own little worlds, be it showbiz management or business, stroking their egos, throwing their weight about, trampling on underlings, yet to the wider world their success and talent is unknown. How frustrating that must be; knowing that you are incredibly important, yet having to lurk in the shadows whilst the likes of performers, artists, innovative whizz kids and the like hog the limelight! Bastards! Just because they actually produce something that is unique, they think they're entitled to reap all the rewards! So, how best to show the world where the real power lies? Obviously, you devise TV formats where you get to fuck with the lives of ordinary folk, making God-like decisions which will affect their futures. Which is why they should dress as drag queens while they do it. To emphasis how bloody pathetic they are. Especially that Scots git in Dragon's Den - put him in a floral print dress, that'll cut him down to size!