Fist of Fury

Did you hear about that Old Age Pensioner (OAP) who was recently taken to court for punching an eight year old child in the face at Halloween? Apparently the little bastard had been trick-or-treating, dressed as a skeleton and had ended up knocking on the door of some old boy who'd clearly had enough. Thankfully, he was let off with a warning. Frankly, I think he should have been given a medal. If only a few more people would stand up to these bloody trick-or-treaters and other louts, perhaps we'd see a return to decent values in this country. Of course, the child's mother ranted on about how the pensioner "should be put down - what if he does it again and attacks other children?" He's an OAP you stupid cow, not a rabid dog. Besides, if you want to eliminate the risk of children being attacked by enraged senior citizens, the answer is simple: don't let your little bastards go around knocking on doors at random.

Indeed, let's look at this from another angle: what sort of responsible parent sends an eight year old child out to harass OAPs by knocking on their doors after dark and making unspecified threats against them? Anyone who did that sort of thing isn't fit to have children, if you ask me. Just think of that poor old bloke; there he is minding his own business, dozing in his armchair in front of Emmerdale, when there's an unexpected hammering on his door. Confused and half asleep, he stumbles down his hallway, laboriously unlocks his door to find himself confronted by a grinning skull. What the fuck would you think in his shoes (or carpet slippers, to be precise)? Obviously, you'd assume it was the grim reaper come to claim your soul. Who could blame him for smacking death in the face and attempting to leg it, in a desperate attempt to cling onto a few extra moments of life? The poor old git could have had a coronary as he tried to get away. If anyone should have been given a warning, it was the evil little shit dressed as a skeleton. Who knows how many pensioners he'd caused to pop their clogs before this brave man brought an end to his reign of terror?